YOU CAN COPE WITH FAILURE

When we were babies we had to learn to walk. Of course, to begin with, we fell down time and again. Fortunately, with each flop to the ground, our parents didn’t watch us fail and woefully declare: ‘Oh dear, looks like you’ll never be a walker’.

no. They encouraged us to keep trying, which is precisely what we did until we were up and about, walking confidently on our own two feet.

human beings are not born lacking confidence — it’s just that we learn to start doubting ourselves as life goes on and everything does not go to plan.

I define confidence as a sense of feeling comfortable in your own skin, able to face everyday challenges, large or small, without being crippled by fear of failure.

That’s not to say that confident people don’t fail . . . they do. Time and again, like when they first learnt to walk. It’s just that they interpret failure as only the start of a journey rather than its dismal end.

Let’s start by thinking about something you believe you failed at in your own life. And asking yourself: ‘Did I really fail?’

Remember, not winning is not the same as failure. neither is getting turned down by someone, or things not turning out exactly the way you wanted.

With that in mind, the first question I’d like you to ask yourself is this: So what?

So you didn’t win. So what? So it didn’t turn out exactly like you wanted. So what? So you got turned down. So what?

now, remind yourself that you’re still alive — and that means tomorrow you’ve another chance to make something even more wonderful happen than whatever it was you feel you failed at.

not only that, you also have learned lessons to help you succeed in future.

That is crucial when it comes to fostering confidence. high achievers see what other people call ‘failure’ as nothing more than a temporary setback. They even get excited about finding new ways to overcome a challenge. After accepting things didn’t work out the way they’d hoped, they ask themselves questions such as: What’s unique about this problem? how can I use this to my advantage? What do I need to do next to succeed?