Healing power of PERFECT POSTURE
Have you ever attached happiness to future circumstances or a distant goal? I think most of us have.
Goals are great motivators that help you to measure your success. but the problem with pinning your happiness too firmly on them, is you can end up holding back good feelings.
Imagine setting yourself a goal: ‘ In ten years’ time, I want to own a house by the seaside.’
You paint a nice, clear picture of what you want and become highly motivated to achieve it. Doubtless, you will be very happy when you hit that goal.
but are you really going to wait ten long years before you finally allow yourself to be happy; to hold back on feeling joy until you decree the good times truly have arrived?
In recent years, instead of being goal-motivated I have moved over to a more directionally-based approach to happiness. This means being happy is no longer, for me, a fixed target I must reach — it is much more about the direction my life is taking.
as long as the course I’m on feels, overall, positive and fruitful — a journey that twists and turns, my heart and mind open to the various opportunities and life experiences for which you can’t plan ahead — then I’m doing all right. More than all right. I’m happy.
On Saturday I explained the importance of living by your values; of identifying the elements of life that matter to you most.
ReMeMber, we’re not talking about the things that give you pleasure, such as material belongings or fine food. Your values are the people, the experiences, the places and sensations that make you feel good.
During the pandemic, separated from loved ones and our freedoms and pastimes curtailed, it has been hard to live by our values. That is why taking a directional approach to happiness feels especially important.
Having goals, making plans, have felt like exercises in disappointment. You book a holiday, it gets cancelled; you look forward to attending a friend’s wedding, they have to postpone; you crave the company of a loved one, but for now it’s not allowed.
No wonder many are thinking: ‘When all this is over, I’ll be happy again.’ but again, that just makes happiness a goal. Try thinking for a moment not about where you want to get to in the coming months — focus instead on how you want to feel while you are on that journey.
For me, I’d like to travel towards the end of the pandemic in good health. I’d want to talk to friends and loved ones every day, to spend quality time with my wife and enjoy some invigorating walks with my dog.
Looking after myself will help me stay healthy. Technology means I can see and hear the voices of those I love, even if I can’t physically share their company. I can cherish the time I spend with my wife and our beloved pet.
being flexible when it comes to living your values — accepting that if you can tick some of those boxes each day, you’re going in the right direction — helps you feel happier in the here and now.
However much the pandemic manages to mess with the outcomes of the things we plan and look forward to, what it can never take away from us is the direction in which we keep travelling.
The mind and body are linked. Tense your body and your thoughts become tense; relax your thoughts and your body relaxes.
From yoga and the ancient martial arts to modern disciplines such as Pilates, humans have always used movement and posture to create a state of calm, balance and wellbeing. all these techniques use the link between body and mind to change your psychological state. One of the most powerful yet simple techniques to improve mood, requiring no training at all, is to simply change your posture. Typically, when we are unhappy, we slouch a bit, letting our heads hang down a little while our shoulders come forward. This posture is universally associated with low spirits. In fact, if you felt absolutely fine but spent half an hour slouching forward your good mood would start to disappear. Don’t try it in order to find out — please just take my word for it! What you want to aim for is an upright, relaxed balance posture, so that your body, and how you hold it, can help you feel better.
■ For information on Paul’s books, including Control Stress, I Can Make You Happy, Instant Confidence and I Can Make You Sleep, visit: paulmckennabooks.co.uk