She loves the dog more than me!

DEAR BEL,

I HAVE been going out with my partner for a number of months.

Things are going well except for one thing — there is another in our relationship.

This ‘other’ is a golden labrador named Hector, a dog my girlfriend has had for eight years. I fear I am not No. 1 and every time he is around, my limelight is stolen and I do not get much attention.

Should I accept my fate or look to a more permanent, kennel-shaped solution?

BILL

THIS email has entertained me so much I really don’t mind if it’s a tease. But let me assure you I do not take this problem lightly.

So I must begin with pointing out the most serious error in your short letter: you write, ‘ hector, a dog my girlfriend has had . . .’

listen carefully, Bill — your love life depends on this wisdom.

hector is not ‘a’ dog. hector is the dog. you fail to understand what eight wonderful years with the love of her life means to this lady. hector has double the number of legs, double the devotion in his huge, doggy heart and double the ability to show it in the wag of a tail or touch of a paw.

hector is your superior in all respects: the top dog. you have no alternative but to accept this vital truth.

When I married for the second time, my husband had to realise there would be a sweet, fluffy bundle on the bed between us, and nothing could separate me from her. his solution was to learn to love her (nearly) as much as I did.

That’s the way forward to peace and love.

Oh, and try treats for them both.