Straight to the POINT

▪ SCOTLAND now has its own version of Nigel Farage. Alex Salmond pops up at the wrong moment, forms or joins obscure parties, annoys the other politicians, is derided by the media and former friends are now the enemy.

▪COLIN LANG, Brandon, Suffolk. ÷ HELL hath no fury like a former First Minister scorned.

▪BOB PROCTOR, Cupar, Fife. ÷ A VEGAN cafe is charging an extra 10p if you want cow’s milk in your coffee (Mail). They are definitely milking it!

▪JEAN COOPER, Milton Keynes, Bucks. ÷ I PREFER not to hear about the sexual fantasies of an 83-year-old woman, even if it is Jane Fonda.

▪PHILIP MUNRO, Manchester. ÷ IF JANE FONDA has fantasies about younger men, I’m 80 and in good working order . . .

▪JOHN EVANS, Wokingham, Berks. ÷ RELUCTANT theatre-goer Tom Utley reminded me of my favourite caustic review: ‘There was a good bit in the middle when we had an ice cream.’

▪STEVE REDWOOD, Burbage, Wilts. ÷ GOOD news about a proposed tax to pay for gum removal. How about a tax on graffiti?

▪LIAM SLADE, Brighton. ÷ BORIS, don’t worry about a pint in the pub. We’re all counting the days to your haircut!

▪COLIN NICOL, Sutton, Surrey. ÷ NOW I know how a hedgehog feels coming out of hibernation.

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