Pull the other one!
Are these really best cracker jokes of 2021?
PREDICTABLY dreadful and guaranteed to raise groans all round, they can be enough to drive you to an extra glass of eggnog.
But a new list of Christmas cracker jokes has dispensed with old chestnuts in favour of topical issues and runs the risk of being, well… funny.
The gags were submitted by the public and compiled into a top 20 revealing a dark sense of humour in the face of the challenging past two years.
The jokes tackle everything from the pandemic and the energy crisis to Government U-turns, Brexit and former health secretary Matt Hancock’s affair with his aide.
There is even a gag about Jackie Weaver, 63, who became an unlikely internet star when the parish council meeting she was running on Zoom went viral after descending into foulmouthed farce.
The list was compiled by the TV channel Gold after the public voted on finalists decided by comedy critic Bruce Dessau from entries on Twitter.
The author of the winning entry won £1,500 towards a holiday, a festive hamper and a box of Christmas crackers containing his joke. 1: Why are people cutting back on Brussels sprouts this Christmas? The cost of gas is too high
2: Why is Christmas dinner vegan this year? Because Turkey is on the red list, but vegetables are all green
3: Why won’t Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and Richard Branson see each other this Christmas? They all want space
4: What’s Piers Morgan’s favourite Christmas song? Walking off on air
5: Which relative will not be at Chris Whitty’s Christmas dinner? Aunty Vaxxer
6: Which vaccine did Father Christmas get? Mince Pfizer 7: Why did Rudolph’s nose have to self-isolate? It failed the lateral glow test
8: Why didn’t Santa replace Comet and Cupid when they left to become HGV drivers? It was just 2 deer
9: How do you know the heating bill for December is too high? Dad won’t even let you open the windows on your advent calendar
10: Why can Netflix afford calamari at Christmas? They’re Squids in
11: Why does Christmas Scrabble take so long with Boris Johnson? He keeps going back on his word
12: Why are we only having broccoli, cabbage and peas as veg this Christmas? Because 52 per cent of the family said no to Brussels
13: Why did Matt Hancock have to buy his aide really expensive Christmas presents? She had him up against a wall
14: Why does Emma Raducanu get to carry the crystal glasses at Christmas dinner? They know she’s unlikely to drop a set
15: Which vaccine did the Three Wise Men have? The Wiser Jab
16: Which Friends character nearly missed the 2021 Reunion Show due to the Test and Trace app? Chandler Ping 17: Why will Keir Starmer be sad on Christmas morning? He’ll still have no presence
18: Why does Jackie Weaver control the weather at Christmas? She has snow authority
19:What pantomime is the Government doing this year? Chris Whittington
20: What is Coleen Rooney’s favourite Christmas game? Guess Who