Our lonely escape to the countryside
I SYMPATHISE with Rebecca Wilcox, who feels lonely after exchanging city life for the countryside (Mail). After my husband and I were made redundant in the 1990s, we decided to fulfil our dream of moving to Yorkshire. We thought we’d done our homework, having spent many happy holidays there over the years and we knew the area well. When we found our dream house, a new-build on the edge of a village, we thought all the residents would be in the same boat and we’d settle in together. How wrong I was. We failed to take into consideration that all the other incomers had their own circle of friends and family. I joined lots of local clubs and groups but always felt I was on the edge, looking in. I got a part-time job and my colleagues were nice, but never included me in their out-of-hours activities. Once I was asked about my plans for the weekend and I said we hadn’t made any as we didn’t really know anyone in the area. One woman replied: ‘That’s a shame. We’re having a party. Hope you find something to do!’ And there was me thinking I was about to get an invitation! Our dream home was a letdown, too.
We discovered it had lots of faults so there was a never-ending procession of workmen. At least they were other people to talk to! When there was a 14-hour power cut, I expected my neighbours to check we were OK for candles and heating, but this didn’t happen. We put the house up for sale and moved back to our old area. Our semi-detached, suburban lifestyle may not be photogenically beautiful but it’s like wearing an old, but comfy, pair of slippers. We made new friends in addition to being welcomed back into the fold of our old ones — who had told us we were mad to leave in the first place. When my husband was terminally ill, every day I gave thanks that I had treasured friends who rallied round and got me through the bad times. My advice to Rebecca is, move back as soon as possible!
CHRIS NOLAN, Rayleigh, Essex.
I MOVED to a darling little house in Hertfordshire and for my first Christmas invited all the neighbours to a festive get-together. Not one reciprocated, even with a cuppa. After two years, I relocated back to North London and it has been a pleasure having friendly and hospitable neighbours again. JUDY MILLER, London NW7.