Daily Mail

Losers & boozers

Tour from hell finishes with shameful 6am drinking antics from England’s Ashes flops...

- By PAUL NEWMAN Cricket Correspond­ent

WE should have known this Ashes tour would all end with England supping in the last-chance saloon. The sight of players staggering off into the night, or just before breakfast this time at Hobart’s Crowne Plaza Hotel with police hovering all around them, has been just about the only embarrassm­ent missing before now from the worst of all Ashes tours.

The only difference with this drinking controvers­y from the many to have blighted English cricket over the years — and we have seen a few — is that one of their own coaches took the pictures that brought their shame into the public domain.

The ‘mortified’ captain, Joe Root, and senior bowler Jimmy Anderson, who always seems to be there when drinking stories emerge, can’t even blame it on an opportunis­tic member of the public.

Only on the assistant coach, Graham Thorpe, who looks sure to be the first out of what will become a fast-revolving England exit door.

Let us make one thing clear. No one begrudges the players a drink at the end of a long, difficult tour, particular­ly one that has seen them facing the full force of Australia’s draconian methods in dealing with Covid.

It is just their choice of Nathan Lyon as one of their drinking buddies that can be held against them. Could they not find better company than him? That, together with the sight of old foes Jonny Bairstow and David Warner in a warm embrace when the players shook hands at the end of the last Test, really is evidence of an unusually friendly Ashes.

But the sight of the video taken by Thorpe somehow finding its way to the Sydney Morning Herald yesterday was indicative of the sorry mess.

Sportsmail yesterday revealed concerns over the drinking during this trip. Together with questions over the fitness of players epitomised by bowling coach Jon Lewis’ public criticism of Ollie Robinson and the refusal of one player to undergo a skin folds test — accusing management of fat-shaming him — it makes a mockery of Chris Silverwood’s pre-tour aim to be ‘leaner, fitter and sharper’ in Australia.

The only question is whether most of that drinking has been done by players or coaches and the fact they are all pointing fingers at each other is further evidence that life under Silverwood and Root has become far too soft and indiscipli­ned for comfort. It has been rumoured that Thorpe is heading to

Middlesex to become head coach after the Ashes but his hopes of jumping before he was pushed by England have been jeopardise­d by this sorry saga.

Thorpe is a good man who was one of England’s best, most nuggety batters during the dark days of the Nineties — days that we never thought would be eclipsed in the central contract era.

He also has a welcome, balanced perspectiv­e on life and cricket formed by the acrimoniou­s breakup of his first marriage and will probably shrug and view this as a storm in a teacup.

Or, in these circumstan­ces, a storm in a glass of Jack Daniel’s. But clearly it is going to cost him his job, if it was not already on the line. Sadly, that is inevitable but it should not be taken as a given that the players’ apparent mutterings about Thorpe’s methods and means of communicat­ion — Ollie Pope even considered asking his Surrey coach, Vikram Solanki, for help during this tour rather than the England coaches — should be held against him.

It was the players’ apparent unwillingn­ess to accept the stricter ways of Mark Ramprakash that cost him his job as batting coach two years ago and they have clearly stuck two fingers up at Silverwood by not showing the required discipline on this trip.

Yes, Silverwood has to go and Thorpe will now go with him but the players also need to have a long, hard look at themselves before their Test recovery can begin. One thing is for certain. The next coach of England will be a disciplina­rian and quite right, too. How they need the firm hand provided by their best two coaches in Duncan Fletcher and Andy Flower.

And a stronger captain than Root. There must be someone who could do the job, surely? Even if it means going back to a Mike Brearley or even Chris Cowdrey-type figure.

How players need a reminder of the responsibi­lities that should come automatica­lly with playing for England in what’s meant to be the most profession­al of eras.

Nasser Hussain was right yesterday. Ricky Ponting would sort them out. He would be the perfect next England coach.

The ECB should at least tempt him by making him an offer he might find hard to refuse. England really do need the most almighty shake-up.

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