Ephraim Hardcastle
PRINCE Andrew’s notoriety is elevated to a London tourist attraction. A walking tour of Belgravia mostly highlighting locations where celebrities including Judy Garland, Vivien Leigh and Brian Epstein breathed their last has added Ghislaine Maxwell’s former mews home where Andrew was photographed with teenager Virginia Roberts, now Giuffre. The tour adds: ‘This is where Jeffrey Epstein had sordid encounters.’ The title of the new attraction? ‘Secret London – Sordid Secrets.’
ANY possibility that Boris might be invited to participate in Prince Philip’s Westminster Abbey thanksgiving service must have floundered in the pre-funeral party booze at his Downing Street home. But Philip probably scuppered the PM’s chances two decades ago at the Queen Mother’s funeral when Tony Blair’s attempt to give himself a starring role at Westminster Hall as the QM’s coffin arrived to lie in state was prevented by Black Rod Sir Michael Willcocks and the Lord Great Chamberlain. Philip subsequently ordered that whatever happened at his obsequies, politicians must be told to keep their noses out.
TORY bruiser David Davis – who yesterday dramatically told the PM, ‘In the name of God, go’ – was once a keen fan. When defending BoJo against then Chancellor Philip Hammond, Davis announced: ‘He’s a character, for heaven’s sake... with the greatest respect to Philip Hammond, if you want to fill a hall, ask Boris Johnson, not Philip Hammond.’ All forgotten now!
THE expertise of Joan Collins, pictured, who famously sneaked into Ascot’s Royal Enclosure using a borrowed badge, may be required for June’s Royal meeting. Officials have cut capacity from 2,500 to 1,500 for the week, with even regular attenders facing rationing and feverish lobbying for special treatment under way. Sir Francis Brooke, Her Majesty’s Representative, wants to allow people more space and reduce the queues at the champagne bars. Says one applicant: ‘There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth, particularly from ladies with grand new hats they want to show off.’
BORIS’S ‘not my fault’ defence contrasts with foreign secretary Lord Carrington’s resignation after taking the blame for the 1982 invasion of the Falklands. ‘The disgrace must be purged,’ he explained. ‘The person to purge it should be the minister in charge. That was me.’ Carrington, who died in 2018, lived just long enough for Boris’s resignation as foreign secretary. Recalls his biographer: ‘Carrington, fading, was whispered the news of Boris’s going; he smiled broadly and within an hour went himself.’
PIERS Morgan seeks a scriptwriter for his imminent News UK prime time TV show, asking applicants to identify gender: ‘Female, Intersex, Male, Non-binary, Transgender Female, Transgender Male or Transitioning.’ Perhaps Piers, scourge of all that is woke, favours the remaining category: ‘Prefer not to say.’