Under the microscope
CAN YOU RUN UP STAIRS?
YES I can, although I do have a little tweak of arthritis in my right knee. But I try to walk 5km a day near my house in Cornwall. I also have an electric bike but, just before lockdown, I hefted a large bin bag into the wheelie bin and did something to my right shoulder. I had some physiotherapy and got referred to a surgeon. To my surprise, and relief, he diagnosed arthritis as well as possible bone spurs and a tear to the rotator cuff (the group of muscles that holds the shoulder joint in place). He said I’d need a shoulder replacement. I cried because someone was taking me seriously. It won’t happen for about 18 months but cycling is out of the question in the meantime.
ANY FAMILY AILMENTS?
MY FATHER had three hip replacements and my mother and sister have had one each. I’ve bucked the trend with my shoulder.
ANY VICES?
A WEAKNESS for butter.
POP ANY PILLS?
I WENT through the menopause in my late 40s and I’ve been taking HRT ever since to regulate any mood swings. I had a hysterectomy six years ago and switched to a different HRT, oestrogenonly (called Zumenon), because of the surgery. I also take Nurofen if my shoulder is keeping me awake at night.
EVER HAVE PLASTIC SURGERY?
NO, BUT I did have a bit of Botox a few years back to deal with my frown lines. Maybe one day I’ll decide to get rid of the gooseflesh under my chin.
HAD ANYTHING REMOVED?
THE hysterectomy apart, my appendix when I was ten.
EVER BEEN DEPRESSED?
I WAS diagnosed with depression when I was 22. I called it ‘the black dog’. The way I describe it now is the dog is in permanent kennels; I no longer even hear him yowling at night. But after the hysterectomy, I contracted sepsis and nearly pegged it. That brought on another bout of depression. I was given an anti-depressant called citalopram, which gradually gives you an overview of whatever the problem is without you being stuck right in the middle of it. The episode took me two years to get over. I was very lucky not to lose fingers, toes, arms or legs.
TRIED ALTERNATIVE REMEDIES?
A GIRLFRIEND suggested a mix of turmeric and vitamins, which has helped with the creaky knee.
ANY PHOBIAS?
I DON’T like frogs. I don’t like the way they suddenly come at you. I had a pond put into the garden when I lived in Buckinghamshire as therapy to help get used to the frogs. Thunderstorms frighten me, too, even when I’m in bed. And I’m not good with heights.
LIKE TO LIVE FOR EVER?
NO, BECAUSE I’m not scared of dying. I’m interested to see what comes next. ■ THe Good Servant by
Fern Britton (HarperCollins) was published on June 9.