Rugby is now boring to watch
DAVID CAMPESE, one of the game’s great entertainers, bemoans ‘old farts’ ruining the game
Y‘Eddie Jones was a right little s*** as a player. A typical hooker!’
oU’re a Pom, so don’t come over here and moan about the lack of sunshine when it rains every day in england!’ says David Campese, having been held up in an Uber during the Friday night rush-hour in Perth.
he was trying to reach the harbour for a photoshoot before the early winter sunset, having spent the afternoon at a long lunch function with eddie Jones and a group of guest speakers. ‘we had a referee doing a talk at the event. Blame him. when the hell did people start paying to watch referees?’
one of the most outspoken men in rugby, the sharp- tongued australian, who has 101 wallaby caps, jokes how he changed his speech when he realised Jones was in the audience. Posing for the cameraman before night quickly falls, he shares a few stories about their days together as randwick team-mates. ‘he was a little s*** as a player. a typical hooker!’
as the shoot ends, he begins to run the rule over the state of the game.
‘I’m worried about rugby,’ he says. ‘The hardest thing for me is we played in the amateur era where we entertained. now it’s a different animal and it’s boring to watch. It’s all about winning.
‘In the coach’s contract, the more they win the more contract they get. This weekend you’ve rugby league on, aFl on and the wallabies match. It’s a crowded market. we need to entertain or we won’t get the new fans.’
Taking a seat at a nearby bar, he settles in over a glass of wine. ‘Pinot noir, please. australian. no pommy stuff.’ The place is bustling with office workers enjoying afterwork drinks. ‘look around,’ he says. ‘Go and ask that table over there and I bet they don’t know there’s a match on this weekend. how many wallaby jerseys can you see? none. It’s sad.
‘I wasn’t joking about the referee earlier. People who know rugby love rugby but new fans aren’t interested in watching a referee blow a whistle 25 million times. no one cared about referees when I played. The less involvement they had, the better. now it’s like they are always looking for something. It’s pedantic.
‘In 1991, a scrum took 11 seconds. now they are three minutes. now we’ve got a game where the scrums are decided by referee. now they walk to a lineout. It makes me sad because I played in an era where we played a style of rugby that people wanted to play. nick Farr- Jones, Michael lynagh.
‘ These days, every team has the same play book. every team does the same move where they pass the ball behind four forwards’ backs — and then probably stop play for a penalty from 20 phases earlier. we used to be penalised for obstruction if you pass the ball behind someone’s back.
‘no one tries a dummy switch any more. It’s all about defence. The game is full of coaches from rugby league who love defence. what do they know about flair and counter attack? I prefer to just watch the seven-minute highlights package.’
Campese has plenty to get off his chest. at one point he receives a phone call from his wife, lara, and promises her he will try not to say anything that could land him in trouble. when the call ends, he offers a possible solution. ‘ Bill Beaumont’s in charge of world rugby and he’s 70. I’m almost 60 so I can hardly talk, but why don’t they put agustin Pichot in charge and expand the game? ‘I was in a box at the 2019 world Cup and I swear it was the same people making the rules as when I was playing! It’s just made up of old farts.
‘ right now, it seems that all’s fine as long as Twickenham get all the money and there’s a mile-long queue at the members bar where everyone’s drinking scotch. we need to pay way more attention to the grassroots game in australia.’
Campese has found himself marginalised in rugby’s conversations in his homeland. he was only given a ticket to today’s match yesterday afternoon and there is one player he will have a particularly close eye on.
‘who is this young speedster that eddie was talking about who hasn’t played a Test yet? he compared him to me at this lunch.’
henry arundell was the player in question and Campese looks up a video of the 19- year- old’s try against Toulon for london Irish.
‘very good,’ he says, watching the clip back. ‘Great try. I wasn’t that quick. That’s a very good try but how often do you get that much space in an international rugby game? It’s great to have him on tour but I wouldn’t throw him in until the third Test at that age. we need players like that. Flair is so important in our game. we need unpredictable players.’
who is he looking forward to seeing at the optus stadium today, before he boards a late flight back home to sydney?
‘Marika Koroibete and Marcus smith,’ he answers. ‘I would like to see Tate McDermott but instead we’ve got two boring no 9s who kick the ball away. Quade Cooper is a great player but everyone else needs to give him options to be able to create.
‘I always loved Danny Cipriani. I remember watching him make a break at Twickenham and he looked around and all the other players were in position waiting for the next phase because they had no idea about unpredictability. People don’t read the game now. They just sit in the tram lines waiting for the ball.’
Back in his days in the green and gold jersey, Campese won six out of eight of his games against england. now the wallabies are on a rotten run of eight straight defeats by the english but, despite his fears for the state of the game down here, Campese is still backing the hosts for a series victory.
‘australia will win 2-1 but who knows? I’m never going to back the Poms. I grew up in the sixties with Dennis lillee and Geoffrey Boycott. I hate the Poms!’
‘Australia will win. I grew up with Lillee v Boycott. I hate the Poms!’