I REALLY WISH I’D HAD COUNSELLING SOONER
Charlotte Brighton, 36, a nail technician, lives in gosport, hants, with
husband gary, 36, and their children, aged ten and five. She says:
WHEN I was diagnosed with depression, I was told I had to go on an antidepressant — there was no other option.
‘This is the best course of action and the quickest,’ my GP said. The waiting time for counselling was months.
After nearly ten years of misery, I felt I had no choice. But I ended up spending 16 years on the pills.
It all stemmed from being bullied at school, every day, for five years. I started getting excruciating stomach pains. I was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and given everything from relaxants to antispasmodics, but nothing worked. Looking back, it was the stress of being bullied causing all my problems. After I left school, I went back to my GP — by now he’d tried every stomach medication in the book.
When I told him I’d been feeling anxious, with no interest in anything, he said: ‘I think you have depression.’
So, aged 20, I was put on fluoxetine [Prozac], then citalopram. I started on 20mg per day then built up over four years to 40mg. Within a month of taking citalopram, I was less anxious and more interested in the world. But it left me feeling numb and lacking emotion; I was also tired, with a low sex drive.
Still, I saw this as a necessary evil to be free of depression. In 2019, I tried finding
out about counselling but was told the waiting lists were even longer. Just after the pandemic, I had a bit of a breakdown. I was hyperventilating and feeling panicky. One day, I fell to the floor sobbing.
I decided to have private counselling. Six sessions would cost me £300 but I wanted to try talking therapy. I saw a psychotherapist who helped me open up.
There were a lot of tears but, through counselling, I’ve learnt that emotions are normal. These emotions are something I should feel, rather than the sense of numbness I had for 16 years.
I now feel so much better. I’ve been slowly weaning myself off the pills, down to 10mg. I wish I’d got counselling sooner. It has changed my life.