Ephraim Hardcastle
FRIENDS of Prince Andrew fear the disgraced royal remains convinced that his car-crash Newsnight interview was a success, wrongly thinking he’d distanced himself from Jeffrey Epstein’s shadow and portrayed himself as an ‘honourable man’ who did the right thing. He also thought his misconceived irresistibility to the fairer sex would be more than a match for Emily Maitlis. Shouldn’t his stripped honours be replaced by a new title: Prince of Delusion?
COMMONS Speaker Lindsay Hoyle, reinstating predecessor Betty Boothroyd’s neck and wrist frills, wanted to wear the official wig last worn by Speaker Weatherill in 1992 but it has vanished. A replacement doesn’t come cheap. Legal outfitters Stanley Ley quote £2,625 plus VAT for a full-bottomed wig. At least Sir Lindsay will keep his trousers. He has drawn the line on wearing tights and knee breeches on ceremonial occasions.
MIGHT the Lionesses rampant want a distinctive badge? The current Football Association logo features three maned male lions but the female of the species are stealthier, faster and better at teamwork and tactics than their male counterparts – in the wilderness and on the pitch. Would maneless Prince William, president of the FA, approve?
DOMESTIC goddess Nigella Lawson, pictured, describes certain TV food programmes as the ‘theatre of cruelty and humiliation’ for their ill treatment of contestants, adding: ‘It makes people at home feel inhibited about cooking too, because they have this persecutory voice in their heads.’ Surely you couldn’t be referring to Gordon Ramsay, Nigella!
LATE Star Trek actress Nichelle Nichols, aka Lieutenant Nyota Uhura, who died on Saturday aged 89, enjoyed sending up difficult co-star William Shatner, once quipping: ‘People say that you’re a pompous, arrogant, egotistical, selfcentred, narcissistic jerk.’ She clarified: ‘I don’t think you’re narcissistic.’
EX-boxer Chris Eubank, boasting that his appearance on MasterChef had taught presenters John Torode and Gregg Wallace the connection between food and love, tells Radio Times: ‘When I cook, whether my wife is there or not, it’s like I’m on a date. I dim the lights, I put on Nat King Cole. I am floating in there. Let me tell you, any woman would die to be in that kitchen.’ Someone douse Chris before the hosepipe ban!
LINE of Duty star Adrian Dunbar, explaining how he came up with his famous catchphrase, tells Saga magazine: ‘When I read in the script the line “Jesus, Mary and Joseph”, I added “and the wee donkey” once the cameras started rolling. Everyone was silent for a moment, but it stayed in.’ He adds: ‘If I’m walking down the road, chances are someone will shout at me, “How’s the wee donkey?”’