Going ga ga over Queen
QUESTION Why was Queen’s Jazz album described as fascist?
The 1978 album Jazz was Queen at their most outrageous, kicking off with the bonkers Arabic rocker Mustapha, followed by the controversial Fat Bottomed Girls and Bicycle Race, the video of which featured 65 naked women cyclists. It also featured the stone-cold classic Don’t Stop Me Now.
While many found the album thrilling, it was all too much for Dave Marsh, the curmudgeonly Rolling Stone critic. he detested Queen and gave the album an excoriating review.
he famously said: ‘(The band’s) anthem, We Will Rock You, is a marching order: you will not rock us, we will rock you. Indeed, Queen may be the first truly fascist rock band. The whole thing makes me wonder why anyone would indulge these creeps and their polluting ideas.’
The idea that Queen were fascists was absurd. Marsh was noted for his grumpy reviews. he said Led Zeppelin drummer John Bonham was ‘ something like clinically incompetent’, gave all Journey records 1/5 stars and called the Grateful Dead ‘the worst band in creation’.
Richard Howells, Telford, Shropshire.
QUESTION What is the best joke told by a modern politician?
DuRING a Commons session in March 2015, then prime minister David Cameron joked about ed Miliband’s two kitchens: ‘ I feel sorry for the Leader of the Opposition — he literally doesn’t know where his next meal is coming from.’ It got a huge guffaw from MPs.
James Gibb, Newcastle upon Tyne. ONe of the funniest political exchanges was on December 5, 1991, when Gerald Kaufman used Foreign Office minister Mark Lennox-Boyd as a straight man.
Lennox-Boyd failed to see the set-up he was creating when he said: ‘ We learned some days ago that bags containing diplomatic mail had been discovered by staff at Wandsworth Prison.’
After laughter from MPs, he added: ‘Mr Speaker, diplomatic bags are routinely sent to Wandsworth Prison for laundering. On this occasion, the Canadian bags had been inadvertently included in such a consignment sent to Wandsworth. Steps were taken to recover the diplomatic mail and investigate the incident.’
Gerald Kaufman then exploited the minister’s lack of humour.
‘The hon Gentleman says that the Government sent the material to be laundered. Are the Government going to send other material that they want to launder to Wandsworth Prison or are they going to come clean about this episode?’
This caused an uproar. Angela Rumbold, sitting on the frontbench with Kaufman, was convulsed with mirth.
Tony Beard, Billericay, Essex. JACOB ReeS-MOGG is good at dividing those who have a sense of humour from those who do not. There was a twinkle in his eye when he told Andrew Neil he was a ‘man of the people, vox populi, vox dei’. The Latin phrase means: ‘The voice of the people (is) the voice of God.’
When he took up office as Leader of the house, Lib Dem MP Tom Brake stood up to say: ‘The Liberal Democrats couldn’t want for a better recruiting sergeant for us than him.’
Rees-Mogg drolly retorted: ‘Mr Speaker, I may be a better recruiting sergeant for the Lib Dems than the honourable gentleman is.’ This was greeted with much laughter, except from dour Brake.
The sadly missed David Amess had a fine sense of humour. Shortly after his friend Iain Duncan Smith had been sacked as Tory leader, Amess introduced him at a function as ‘the man who had slid down the greasy pole’.
Elaine Timms, Malvern, Worcs.
QUESTION Have there been bloodless wars?
The aptly named Pig War was a bloodless conflict between the u.S. and Britain in 1859. This was a boundary dispute on San Juan Island between the mainland u.S. and Vancouver Island. American settlers and British employees of the hudson’s Bay Company laid claim to its fertile soil. Lyman Cutlar, a failed miner growing potatoes, started the dispute after shooting a pig he found rooting in his garden. The pig belonged to the hudson’s Bay Company farm.
Cutlar went to farm manager Charles Griffin to apologise, but tempers flared. he offered compensation of $10, but Griffin demanded $100. When Cutlar pointed out the pig was trespassing and eating his potatoes, Griffin replied: ‘It is up to you to keep your potatoes out of my pig.’
British authorities threatened to arrest Cutlar and evict all his countrymen from the island. The u.S. Army dispatched Captain George Pickett and a small number of troops to San Juan. Pickett upped the ante by declaring the island to be u.S. property. The British responded by sending a fleet of heavily armed naval vessels.
A stand-off ensued. By August 10, the Americans were all set with 16 cannon and 461 soldiers, while the British were geared up with five warships, 70 guns and 2,140 men. Commanding officers of both sides gave instructions that no one should open fire unless the opponents moved first.
Offensive and insulting comments were made in the hope that this would make the opponent open fire, but it didn’t happen. When news of this situation reached Washington and London, u.S. President James Buchanan ordered General Winfield Scott to negotiate with the British to avoid any violence. A deal that allowed joint military occupation of San Juan Island was agreed. The Pig War ended in a bloodless stalemate — except, of course, for the unfortunate pig.
Emilie McRae, Trowbridge, Wilts.
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