How to wise up to the right choice

SOMETIMES you realise that an important life lesson can be learned by accident.

So it was when I gave my granddaughter (11 now) an art lesson. It was last October. We’d gone out with the easel so she could try painting from nature.

Back indoors, I stood with her, making suggestions about colour, scooting off to grab a book on the Impressionists so she could see what can be done with the brush, encouraging her to be bold. Such fun.

I had to leave the room to take a phone call and when I returned she was cross and upset. There’s ivy on the willow tree by the river, she could see it on the photo on my phone, but trying to paint it over the beautiful bark- effect she’d already achieved . . . oh dear. Not good.

And she knew it. Hence the tears: ‘It’s all spoiled!’

Nothing I could say could shift her mood and her frustration threatened to ruin the lovely day. So I thought I’d try some tough love.

‘Look, you’re right that the ivy spoils it,’ I said matter-of-factly, ‘So you have three choices now. You can leave it as it is. Or you can paint over it, putting your lovely bark back . . . ’

At that point, she wailed that she couldn’t do either of those things. ‘OK,’ I said briskly, ‘then the third choice is to rip the picture up. So what’s it to be?’ A pause. ‘I’ll paint over it,’ she sniffed. ‘Good girl,’ I said.

And so, still upset, she did — with a beautiful result.

That little episode left me with an unexpected lesson for life. You see, you’re sloppy, make a bad mistake, mess something up — what to do?

Leave it as it is, so the mess remains?

Or take a deep breath, make a huge effort — even though you really don’t want to — and put the mistake right?

Or — slam dunk — make it wholly bad by destroying any possible chance of betterment?

Our wise little girl chose correctly.

■ BEL answers readers’ questions on emotional and relationship problems each week. Write to Bel Mooney, Daily Mail, 9 Derry Street, London W8 5HY, or email bel.mooney@dailymail.co.uk. Names are changed to protect identities. Bel reads all letters but regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence.