‘ I’ll take you to Dignitas as you wish but I still fear assisted dying could open a Pandora’s box of nastiness
A heartfelt open letter by Moral Maze panellist the Rev GILES FRASER...
You want me to take you to Dignitas when the time comes. Thank goodness you are aged only 86 and that time is not yet close. But I know you fear the indignity of all that comes with old age. And I have said I would go with you to Zurich, even though I don’t agree with it.
You are my Mum, I love you, and I will do as you ask. You have done so many things for me, and I cannot refuse you this last kindness. And, yes, I do remember that I have to bring your ashes back in a posh Harrods bag, not a cheap supermarket one!
But I have to tell you why I am so against it.
You will remember, years ago, that I was at a very low point in my life and I thought about ending it all. It was mental not physical pain — but it was pain nonetheless.
And when I shared my darkest thoughts with friends, I didn’t really expect them to say: ‘oK then, it’s your choice.’ I think it was their duty to try and talk me out of it. And they did — thank goodness. I want to try and do the same for you.
Sir Keir Starmer has said that if he gets elected as Prime Minister, he will consider changing the law to allow assisted dying.
Let’s call it what it is: this is helping people to commit suicide.
It seems many now agree with this. Public opinion has certainly shifted. The British Medical Association used to be firmly against it, and now it is neutral. Even some fellow vicars agree, as well as a former Archbishop of Canterbury, George Carey.
Yet there are cases that should encourage us to think again about the direction in which we are travelling — such as that of Alastair Hamilton, a 47-year- old chemistry teacher not suffering from any kind of chronic illness, who was helped by a clinic in Switzerland to end his life, entirely without his family’s knowledge.
I also know that, having been a nurse, you have seen many people die in painful and terrible ways, and you don’t want that for yourself or, indeed, for others. Compassion has always been your guiding principle. And no one can think that is wrong.
But do you remember, all those years ago, when you ran a Leonard Cheshire care home for young people with considerable physical disabilities? You looked after so many of them with such care and love. I think working there, with you, taught me so much about what loving your neighbour means.
on Radio 4’s Moral Maze recently, we had a lovely chap, Miro Griffiths, who has spinal muscular atrophy, a progressive muscle weakening condition. He says he feels people are forever sizing him up and wondering if his life is really worth it.
‘I can’t stress enough how much people start to make assumptions about my quality of life. They say: “oh, it must be awful for you, because you can’t move anything other than your fingers on your hand,” and, “It must be awful that you have to rely on people to feed you, assist you to the toilet.” ’
He doesn’t feel like that at all, and thinks it’s wonderful that he can get the support he needs.
But he is constantly aware of other people thinking that his can’t be much of a life and wondering to themselves whether he’d be better off quietly slipping away in the night — perhaps with the help of a draught of medicine to ease him along.
And here is the most frightening issue for me. Miro is also aware of how the system of care he receives is constantly being assessed for value for money.
The Canadian government in 2016 voted through a Medical Assistance in Dying Bill, specifically for those people whose death from a terminal illness is reasonably foreseeable.
Just five years later, the scope of assisted suicide legislation was extended to those whose death is not reasonably foreseeable.
Ahead of that vote, the Canadian parliamentary budget office explained that the new law would lead to healthcare savings of $149 million [£87 million]. Such savings are a shocking incentive for society to encourage, however subtly, those who are coming towards the end of their lives to reach it more quickly.
And what does it say about our attitude towards the value of human life that we subject it to a cost-benefit analysis in this way?
Wrapped up in all of this is an assumption that, if you are old, or suffering, or mentally distressed,
or disabled, your life is somehow of lesser value.
I don’t want to live in that sort of a society.
You, Mum, as a nurse, and I, as a priest, have been at the bedside when people die. We know what a traumatic business it can be — not just for the person dying, but for their families. often, relatives are trying to juggle their everyday lives — taking the children to school, getting supper organised, worrying about the bills — alongside caring for an ailing parent. It can be an enormous stress for everyone involved.
And the dying parent can see all this. Which is why they may feel it would be better for all concerned if they just went away quietly; they don’t want to be a burden.
So let me make this crystal-clear: I want you to be a burden. I want
The most vulnerable in our society will be most at threat
I want to care for you, whatever the circumstances
to care for you, whatever the circumstances. That is what it means to say: ‘I love you.’
We now live in a world that considers personal autonomy and personal choice to be among the most important things in life. I do understand that. But at its worst, this attitude encourages a society that is all about the individual.
When someone is sick or disabled, they have to rely on others. And this interdependence can teach us all a thing or two about what a good society should look like — not a collection of solitary individuals, but a group of families and communities where people need, support and rely on each other.
This is more the sort of world that I, and you, would want.
As far as the State is concerned, I want it to be in the business of protecting people.
We have a loving family and if I ever helped you to go to Dignitas, it would be because I thought it might be the most loving thing for a son to do. But not all families are like this. And looking at the astronomical price of care homes, there will be some who will think it would be better to spend the price of Granny’s end-of-life care on their children, for instance. or worse, a new car.
This is a Pandora’s box of nastiness. once the State allows assisted dying, it is the most vulnerable in our society who will be most at threat.
Mum, you taught me a great deal of what I now value as a priest. Specifically, that Christianity is a call to care for, and to protect, the vulnerable.
one day, that vulnerable person might be you. And you must allow me to care for you just as you have lovingly cared for so many others in your time.
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