Tears for Derek flowed as Elton sang flowed as Elton ‘He can spread his wings and fly away’
THROUGH the grief and torment of the past four years, through the agony of watching her once vital, energetic husband become so diminished by terrible illness, Kate Garraway had one maxim: just keep going.
Now, at last, she has finally stopped. The relentlessness of the task of caring for her beloved spouse, Derek Draper, who was ravaged by Covid after falling ill in March 2020, ended with his funeral yesterday.
Derek, a former New Labour lobbyist turned psychotherapist, died on January 3 this year after a cardiac arrest, aged just 56.
The funeral service took place at the historic St Mary the Virgin church in Primrose Hill, north London, three miles from the family home where Good Morning Britain presenter Kate did everything she could to keep him alive.
Famous faces gathered in the grand redbrick church to remember him. Friend Sir Elton John attended, leaning on a gold walking stick and accompanied by husband David Furnish.
Sir Tony Blair and wife Cherie were also present, along with Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer, Ed Miliband and Derek’s former boss Peter Mandelson. Politician turned TV presenter Ed Balls and ex-spin doctor Alastair Campbell completed the New Labour contingent.
Kate’s TV colleagues were out in force, too – Good Morning Britain presenters Susanna Reid, Ben Shephard, Charlotte Hawkins and Richard Arnold were there to support their friend. Fiona
Phillips was seen for the first time since revealing her Alzheimer’s diagnosis last year, alongside her ITV executive husband Martin Frizell.
Kate, who wore her late husband’s watch to the service, looked anguished as the coffin arrived, and clutched the hand of her son, Billy, 14. Perhaps most poignantly, her daughter, Darcey, 17, was one of the pallbearers for the coffin. Those who know Darcey say she is a ‘no-nonsense young woman who has been a tower of strength for her mother’.
Inside, the undoubted star turn was Sir Elton John performing his song Skyline Pigeon. Tears flowed as he sang the lyrics, ‘He can spread his wings and fly away again’. The order of service paid tribute to the singer, who had become a ‘dear friend’ and ‘supported them right from the very first day’ that Derek had fallen ill.
The congregation lit candles as Sir Elton began singing, marking the fact that the funeral fell on Candlemas Day. Sir Tony Blair also gave a heartfelt speech as part of the eulogies.
The last time many mourners will have been in that church was on Kate and Derek’s wedding day. Indeed, the Bishop of Exeter, who married them, was also there yesterday as a guest.
In a thoughtful touch, the charity Carers UK provided machines for guests to make contactless donations, while the mental health charity Mind had cash boxes there. The choice of charities was a nod to all that Kate has been through.
For all her dedication to the maxim ‘ just keep going’, the reality was that her simple motto was anything but.
One consultant of 35 years’ standing said Derek was the most ill person he had ever seen. After Derek’s initial diagnosis, the author and former political adviser spent 98 days in an induced coma. He was reported to be the
‘They were married in that church too’
longest- suffering patient with coronavirus after 184 days in and out of intensive care.
And the job of organising his 24-hour at-home support, caring for their two children and working to sustain the family’s finances fell immediately into Kate’s lap.
Yet friends tell me that despite being overwhelmed by ‘exhaustion’, in the past weeks Kate channelled her energies into organising a funeral fitting for a man who lived such a diverse life.
‘It gave Kate something to do,’ said a friend. ‘She loves to get stuck into sorting things out.
‘All of a sudden [with Derek’s passing], she found her life was less busy, so organising such a huge funeral was a godsend.’
Now the funeral is over, however, and she has returned to a home without Derek, one can only imagine the scale of Kate’s devastation. Her every space – physical and mental – had been filled with Derek’s needs.
Kate had converted the family semi into something of a mini hospital, building ramps and widening doorways for his wheelchair, and installing a lift and wet room. She had become an expert in everything from the dressings needed to avoid infection, to the pulmonary exercises used to assist his ravaged lungs.
Paralysed and doubly incontinent, his bedding and clothing had to be changed many times a day. He was fed through a tube, and every ‘meal’ and drink was weighed to make sure his precariously ill system was not overloaded.
Add to all this, too, the toil of navigating an intensely bureaucratic, labyrinthine medical system to ensure Derek received the care he so desperately needed.
At one point, six packed box files of documentation and reports sat on Kate’s landing, filled with the paperwork required to fund the two specialist carers – one night and one day – who kept him alive.
Kate even undertook stressful trips to Mexico and back with Derek in an attempt to find him life-saving experimental stem cell treatment. ‘I know I’m very lucky to have him alive,’ she said in an interview in September last year.
‘But yes, I’m also grieving. And also I don’t feel physically that strong. Caring isn’t just emotionally draining but physically exhausting, and I’m aware of the toll it can take on me, just like millions of other carers.’
And like those millions of carers, Kate had other duties, too – such as maintaining her 4am starts at Good Morning Britain’s west London studios, before dashing off to Smooth Radio’s Leicester Square HQ. As a freelance, it was no small matter for the family that if she didn’t work, she didn’t get paid.
Over the past four years she also wrote a book, made two acclaimed TV documentaries on the reality of caring for Derek – and somehow found the time to be a present and loving mother to her children: taxiing them to friends’ houses, parties and sports clubs; making roast chicken dinners every Sunday; seeing them through exams and the whirlwind of adolescence – all while watching their beloved dad deteriorate before their eyes.
It’s entirely to her credit that she has tried to keep their lives as normal as possible. She even agreed to have a New Year’s Eve party at her £4 million home in the north London enclave of Muswell Hill, just days before Derek passed away. Darcey, Kate’s daughter, who is said to be ‘ extremely popular’, hosted the do in the basement.
One friend said: ‘Kate has done her very best to allow her kids to live like normal teenagers.’ On the final day of Darcey’s GCSEs in 2022, Kate invited a gang of friends to celebrate in their basement, with her ill father upstairs.
Kate recounted how Derek ‘coped with it amazingly. He liked the idea that she was being loud and wild’. Heartbreakingly, she said, the couple sat together in their kitchen listening to the teenagers below, dancing and singing along to New Labour’s 1997 election anthem, Things Can Only Get Better.
Of all songs, there could be few more likely to prompt their tears, as Kate admitted: ‘ Derek and I were both crying.’
Those close to her believe she will soon return to work, prompted as much by necessity as desire. Closing Derek’s psychotherapy company landed Kate with a huge £716,000 tax bill. She is said to have spent hundreds of thousands of pounds on his care, and now faces selling their home.
The faintest of silver linings is that the nation has become ever-more endeared to Kate, a thoroughly likeable, intelligent woman.
One job that could be the answer to her financial prayers would be to take Holly Willoughby’s place on the prestigious This Morning sofa. ITV bosses have been urged to hand Kate the job, which could pay up to £700,000. Alongside her would be close friend Ben Shephard.
One source at the channel said: ‘It is a no-brainer to get Kate on This Morning. It would save her financially and she would also be perfect. She’s clever, but with the light touch. She and Ben are so close and have the most wonderful chemistry.’
Their friendship is such that Kate could rely on Ben to accompany her and the children to fun activities such as paddle boarding during Derek’s illness.
Her work ethic also makes her an attractive candidate. When, in 2022, stressed and exhausted, Kate suffered a serious cardiac incident backstage at GMB, her initial thoughts were only of the show. At 4am, with Kate in searing pain and unable to move her arm, her producer phoned the programme’s resident GP Dr Hilary, who told the team to take her to hospital. Kate protested that she would never be back in time to appear on air. Rushed to A&E, she collapsed. Since then she’s been awarded an MBE and her performance on screen has never been more watchable. One can only hope that now, having buried her beloved husband, Kate and her family can at last recuperate and look to the future after their truly unimaginable ordeal.
‘Candles were lit as Sir Elton sang’
‘Wants kids to live like normal teens’