We must be brave enough to call out bad behaviour
EARLIER this week I was standing in a very long queue, patiently waiting, along with hundreds of others, to pass through passport control and enter France.
At one point I saw a couple of young men barge straight to the front of the queue. A few people tutted, but only one woman was brave enough to harangue them. But they ignored her and got away with it.
This, sadly, is all too common. I was too far away to join in, but I’d like to think I would have backed that woman. And that, according to a recent study by Bath University, is important — because if we don’t speak up to support the lone voices of people who confront bad behaviour, that leads to bad behaviour being normalised. Published in the British Journal of Social Psychology, the research involved showing volunteers scenes of antisocial behaviour — in some cases the people behaving badly were confronted and this was supported by other bystanders; in other cases, the confronter got no support. The volunteers were then asked what they thought — when there was no support for the confronter, they assumed this meant the behaviour they’d just witnessed wasn’t that bad.
As researcher and behavioural scientist Anna Tirion pointed out: ‘If no one says anything, it chips away at social norms that protect being kind and not causing harm. Over time people start to think a particular [antisocial] behaviour doesn’t matter.’
It takes courage to confront bad behaviour, but she suggests ways to safely do so and how to support those who are prepared to stand up and stand out.
‘It depends on the situation,’ says Anna Tirion. ‘If your face is visible to everyone, such as on the Zoom call we simulated in one of our studies, simply nodding might be enough to send that supportive signal. Otherwise, a verbal expression of support like “Yeah, you’re right” should do it.’
She adds: ‘If you’re physically some distance away from the confrontation, you might want to go and stand next to the confronter before you say something so your whole body language expresses that support — if you feel safe to do so.’