Blind Date
‘ He said he loves humour, but didn’t ’ laugh at my jokes
KATY, 45
VITAL STATISTICS
SINGLE for 18 months, no children.
CURRENT ROLE
HOLIDAY lettings agent.
WOULD LIKE TO MEET
SOMEONE intelligent and well travelled, who is emotionally available with a sense of humour.
DATING PAST
My longest relationship lasted three years, but he wasn’t the right person. I used to rely on online dating but men use the apps like a Panini football sticker album: bin, bin, keep. they don’t seem willing to invest much in finding someone special any more. For now, I’ll take comfort from my French bulldog instead.
PRE-DATE NERVES?
yes, because the outcome felt important to me. But sometimes I’m at my best when the nerves kick in.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS?
Ben stood up from the table (a good sign), wearing quite a stereotypical work suit. I don’t mean to sound derogatory because he was well turned out and clean shaven. I leant in for a kiss on the cheek as I suspected he’s the type of guy who wouldn’t want to make me feel uncomfortable by going in for one himself.
EASY TO TALK TO?
yes, but if I’m honest I stepped into my alpha energy and asserted myself early on, pausing conversation to get the waiter’s attention so we could order. I felt like I was the stronger party. We talked about Ben’s past relationship — he’s been married and I haven’t.
I lit up when I talked about my dog, also called Ben. Dog Ben picks up on my energy and understands I’m the pack leader because he’s been well trained. Date Ben did have a poodle a long time ago but it didn’t go outdoors and wasn’t trained either.
EMBARRASSING MOMENTS?
not for us, but one of the waiters tripped and sent a large tray of crockery and glassware flying. It landed everywhere, poor man.
DID SPARKS FLY?
I love to flirt during a date but there was no physical attraction for me. I couldn’t work out what lit Ben’s fire. I can see why we were matched — we’re at the same stage in life and he said I looked like his celebrity crush emily Blunt. But our rapport was like that I’d have with a girlfriend.
SEE HIM AGAIN?
no — I don’t see the point, to be honest. We didn’t have enough in common. Ben said he loves humour and yet when I made a joke, he didn’t even laugh.
WHAT DO YOU THINK HE THOUGHT OF YOU?
I think I ticked a lot of boxes before I drew the date to a close. Again, I stepped into my alpha energy to get the bill.
WOULD YOUR FAMILY LIKE HIM?
yes, Ben is very amenable but they wouldn’t put us together.
‘ She asked me three times why I didn’t ’ own my own house
BEN, 49
VITAL STATISTICS
DIVORCED, no children.
CURRENT ROLE
I WORK in finance.
WOULD LIKE TO MEET
A WARM, family-orientated, fun woman, who stays in shape. Social media addicts are a no-no.
DATING PAST
I WAs with my ex-wife for ten years and we were married for three. I’ve tried dating apps since but half the women don’t bother to reply. they’re very stand-offish.
PRE-DATE NERVES?
I WAs a bit nervous. I lost my older brother to leukaemia a year ago and it hit me hard. But Mum reads this column and told me I needed to do it. I wore a suit, and bought a bunch of pink peonies.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS?
KATY is petite with a lovely figure and is very pretty. I handed her the flowers and complimented her on her appearance but there was no compliment in return.
EASY TO TALK TO?
she was very confident, at one point saying we should order. Maybe she meant for us to get it out of the way so we could chat. We had the same fish starter and main, so katy ordered for me. I normally get asked about growing up in the U.s. and being a former tennis player. But instead katy probed me with questions like: ‘May I ask you why your marriage didn’t work out?’ I’m usually bubbly and funny but an interrogation like that doesn’t give you much opportunity for a punchline.
EMBARRASSING MOMENTS?
KATY (again!) took the lead and ordered spinach and broccoli to share. I put too large a floret on my fork and had to break it in half while it was hanging out of my mouth. I was going to make a joke but I had katy down as a cold fish by then.
DID SPARKS FLY?
I Don’t think so. I got the feeling katy wasn’t attracted to me but I have been out of the game for a bit. I wasn’t overly attracted to her.
SEE HER AGAIN?
At My suggestion, we exchanged numbers at the table. When I suggested it, she went: ‘Awwww!’ that kind of patronising reaction is a pet peeve of mine. I knew I’d been friend-zoned. the most animated she got was talking about her dog.
WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE THOUGHT OF YOU?
KATY didn’t give a lot away. she asked me three times why I didn’t own my own house and if I was concerned I’m not on the property ladder. But then afterwards she did send me a picture of the flowers I gave her in a vase, which was a nice touch.
WOULD YOUR FAMILY LIKE HER?
MUM agreed I was being sized up to see whether I’d fit into katy’s world.