How only one in ten women reach orgasm with casual partners . . .
. . . but at least they’re HAVING sex. A fifth of men under 30 are virgins, and a third of couples under 40 sleep together once a month. Read a new history of sex and you’ll never look at your partner the same way
WHAT is the No 1 sexual fantasy? How many couples are in sexless marriages? The answers may surprise you. A new book by DAVID BAKER, science writer and visiting lecturer at Sorbonne University, Paris, tells all . . .
■ THE ‘Orgasmic epoch’ — when placental mammals began to orgasm — dawned 66 to 55 million years ago. Orgasms were nature’s way of incentivising mammals to reproduce — this pleasurable consequence of sex encourages them to do it again and again.
■ ONE early side -effect of the orgasm in mammals was a state of ‘collapse’ which also had a biological function. Whether it lasted a few seconds or a few minutes, the collapse was there to facilitate the passage of sperm and fertilisation of egg . This is why the French call the moment of orgasm la petite mort (the little death).
A CLITORIS has 8,000 to 9,000 nerve endings, two to three times as many as in the penis. All to help the conception, as the more nerve endings, the bigger the post-coital ‘collapse’.
■ THE clitoris evolved from the internal reptilian penis — kept inside the body for reasons of safety . ninety per cent of a woman’s clitoris resides internally.
■ MASTURBATION is widespread in the animal world. Lions and tigers are known to enjoy it. some species of monkey pleasure themselves with their tails. elephants are known to get each other off with their trunks.
ORANGUTAN sex lasts an average of 15 minutes. Gorilla sex lasts only one minute, while chimps get it over with in seven seconds, lest they be interrupted by a rival.
■ AVERAGE chimp penis girth is 5cm, while average human girth is 11.7cm. The male human penis thickened over time, driven by sexual selection to favour female sexual pleasure and help pair-bonding.
■ PROMISCUITY and infidelity were common in human foraging bands. T oday, around 20 per cent of men and 15 per cent of women cheat on their partners. in online dating, women gravitate towards 15 per cent of men deemed to be most attractive: tall, handsome, high- earning and photo - genic, the so -called six, six and six — 6 ft, six figure income, six-pack.
■ AZTECS, Mayans and incas all seem to have permitted homosexuality. The ancient babylonian legal text the code of hammurabi makes provisions for some women to marry other women, while in Mesopotamia homosexuality appears in art and male -on-male sex seems to have been part of religious rituals. in medieval Japan, samurai were allowed to take young boys as lovers, but only one at a time.
■ A MAN’S social standing used to be based on how pleasurable sex with his wife was. in ancient rome, pleasurable marital sex was a cornerstone of virility , thus affecting the husband’s status. in india, pleasurable sex was viewed as essential to the bonding of man and wife.
WITH the birth of motion pictures came porn films. The first, a striptease, was made in France in 1895.
■ NO 1 among sexual fantasies is dominance and submission and s&M (sadomasochism), scenarios which may involve physical bondage, hence the umbrella term BDSM. More than two thirds of adults — 68 per cent — have fantasised about BDSM scenarios, according to a 2017 belgian study. it also revealed nearly half of all adults claim to have engaged in BDSM at least once.
THE proportion of people engaging in BDSM weekly (12.5 per cent) is the same as the percentage of the human population with brown hair, while those who engage on a semi-regular basis (26 per cent) is the same percentage as those with blood group A.
■ FOOT fetishes are common, particularly among men. at its core it is a mixture of ideal mate selection and sexual rejection. a man finds a woman who is an extremely desirable mate. so attractive are her various attributes that he feels his own sexual market value makes him worthy only of her feet.
■ SEX before marriage took off in World War ii with mobilisation of women into the workforce. almost half of W estern middle - class women experienced pre -marital sex between 1940 and 1945, when there was a 29 per cent spike in unwed teen pregnancies, and an uptick in the number of sexually transmitted diseases.
■ THE popular imagination exaggerates the number of young people in the 1960s and 1970s who were ‘hippies’ or ‘swingers’, in fact probably only 1.5 to 3 per cent of the population. but their preva - lence in all kinds of media reshaped public attitudes toward sex as a form of entertainment and pleasure.
FOUR out of ten adults in the developed world are neither married nor cohabiting. The number of single people in the developed world doubled between 1960 and 1970.
■ IN 2019, an average of 45 per cent of singles under the age of 40 reported that they were not looking for a committed relation - ship, with roughly equal numbers for men and women.
■ AN ESTIMATED 20 to 25 per cent of millennials (born 1981 to 1996) are projected never to get married, and that number is expected to be even higher for gen z (born 1997 to 2012).
The reasons? The sharp decline of in-person socialisation among younger people, with a consequent decline of in-person flirtation. internet dating tends to be more selective and exclusionary than hooking up at a club or bar . not forgetting the rise of free porn, substituting for real-life sexual encounters.
CASUAL sex dropped by 14 per cent between 2007 and 2017 for millennials and Gen Z. And in the same period the number of people under 30 reporting no sex for a year almost doubled.
■ ERECTILE dysfunction is now experienced by approximately one in every four men under 40 (24.5 per cent), an increase from the year 2000 when only 2 to 3 per cent faced similar issues, according to the reward Foundation. excessive porn use is the main cause. essentially, men are becoming so overstimulated by using pornography that sweet, romantic sex with a woman they are lucky enough to meet is not sustaining their arousal.
THE couples most likely to get divorced are those who work in urban service industries. The least likely? Those who live in the countryside and work in farming. The difference is a staggering 400 to 500 per cent.
■ IF a woman is a stay-at-home mother, the divorce rate halves. if the man is a stay-at-home dad, it doubles.
■ FIFTEEN per cent of married couples under 40 are sexless, and 30 per cent have sex less than once a month. it ’s not surprising that sex, or a lack of it, is a key reason for divorce in the modern world.
YOU are 45 per cent more likely to get divorced if you meet in a bar or club.
■ DATING apps are used by more than twice as many men (70 per cent) as women (30 per cent). Women prefer to meet men offline via work, friends or on a night out.
■ MALE sexlessness is at record levels: more than one in four men under 30 (28 per cent) have not had sex in the past year, and 17 per cent of men under 30 are virgins.
■ WHEN it comes to sex outside a committed relationship, only ten per cent of women orgasm, compared with 68 per cent of those with a monogamous partner.
■ OF THOSE 68 per cent of women who experience orgasm with a monogamous partner, only six in ten do so every time they have sex, according to a 2015 survey. eighty per cent of women cannot orgasm without clitoral stimulation.
NEARLY half of 30 to 45-yearold women in the developed world are single. If trends continue, the proportion of people who never find a longterm partner may increase to 50 per cent or even twothirds of the population of the developed world by 2100.
■ SEX may eventually become unnecessary. some believe we will one day develop a method of cultivating sex cells (sperm or eggs) from other cells, allowing anyone to have children with anyone — even with themselves. The cells of dead friends and relatives could be used to produce children. Theoretically, you could take someone’s Dna and procreate without their consent — for example, grab some skin cells from your celebrity crush after they’ve left a restaurant — and make a baby.
■ ADAPTED from the Shortest History Of Sex by david Baker (Old Street, £14.99). © david Baker 2024. to order a copy for £13.49 (offer valid until March 2, 2024; UK p&p free on orders over £25) go to mailshop.co.uk/books or call 020 3176 2937.