Mr Gove was as courteous as a head waiter regretting there is no mint garnish on the petits-pois
MICHAEL Gove, at his most buttery, fluttered fl tt d t to the th despatch box and announced anti-extremism rules for groups who are given government money. The idea was to reduce hatred. In this sense the minister’s Commons statement was not an instant success, for it made some MPs distinctly batey.
Imran Hussain (Lab, Bradford East), who may not necessarily be one of life’s P G Wodehouse enthusiasts, spluttered something about a ‘draconian Tory agenda of culture wars’ and accused Mr Gove of ‘politicising an important issue’.
Brother Imran has never politicised a minority grievance in his career! As can happen when this lumbering agitator vents forth, he forgot to take adequate breath and was almost wheezing by the end of his contribution. It was like listening to someone who realises he has just swallowed a blisteringly hot cocktail sausage.
Labour’s charm squad – the bombastic Burgons and slightly creepy Slaughters of this world – tried to make it all about Tory donors. The Government was acting against extreme Islamist and Nazi groups only because it was trying to whip up aggro before the general election and because it agreed with that Tory donor who was horrible about Diane Abbott.
A similar line was taken by the Scots Nats’ frontbencher Alison Thewliss, such a mildmannered, curtseying soul when she arrived here nine years ago but now as warped out of shape as one of Uri Geller’s fish knives. Maybe that’s what Westminster does to you. Or maybe it’s just something you have to do to survive in the not entirely lovely SNP.
Mr Gove deplored partisanship; did so, what’s more, in an elaborately courteous way, like a head waiter regretting that there is no mint garnish on the petits-pois. Nothing annoys zealots as much as politeness. The other evening, I was chatting to Sir Jacob Rees-Mogg in the street when a passing youth threw some verbal mince his way. ‘Why, thank you so much,’ murmured Sir Jacob. The youth stomped off in an even purpler rage.
George Galloway (Workers’ Party, Rochdale) argued that ‘extremists’ were sometimes pioneers of liberty. There was a former Commons Speaker, for instance, who wore a ‘ hang Nelson Mandela’ T-shirt in the same era that Mr Galloway and his friend Jeremy Corbyn (Ind, Islington N) were opposing the apartheid regime in South Africa. Who was the true extremist in that equation?
Mr Gove cited ‘ Milton’s Areopagitica’ as his inspiration. Mr Hussain’s nose twitched. Then twitched a second time. Whoever Milton Whojermaflip was, Mr Hussain did not like the fellow. Was he a Tory donor?
REPEATEDLY Mr Gove said his measures were merely about stopping iffy outfits from receiving public money. But why do we need a codified policy to stop that?
Is it because civil servants will obey ministers only if there is published guidance?
Several Tories expressed doubts. Mark Logan (Bolton NE) was ‘worried about a slippery slope’ against free speech. Ditto Sir Edward Leigh (Gainsborough) and the brave Miriam Cates ( Penistone and Stocksbridge).
‘ Divisions must not be exploited for political gain,’ averred James Sunderland (Con, Bracknell). How touching. But division is in the marrow of politics and no one plays the game more filthily than the Left.
Dimwit shadow Commons leader Lucy Powell tried it earlier at business questions. Penny Mordaunt, her opposite number, responded with a speech of sustained, imperious, pulverising aggression. Worth watching on Parliament TV. Poor Powell. Each week it happens. She must dread Thursdays. Time for your trip to the abattoir, Lucy.
For the third time this week the Commons was subjected to tributes to Tommy McAvoy, a sometime Labour MP and Whip who ended up in the House of Lords and has just died. Ms Powell called him ‘highly respected and revered’. Er, the late Tommy was a notorious heavy, and menaced Labour MPs who dared question the party line. Ms Mordaunt went through the motions in saluting this fallen warrior of the truth, but rather spoilt it by calling him ‘Tony’.