Ephraim Hardcastle
CouLd Prince Andrew be blamed for holding his head in his hands? Hot on the heels of January’s publication of embarrassing court papers which diminished any hope of the rehabilitation of the duke’s reputation, Florida governor Ron deSantis signs a law allowing the release of new grand jury documents relating to Jeffrey Epstein’s 2006 trial. It’s not known yet if Andrew will be in this batch. declares deSantis: ‘The public deserves to know who participated in Jeffrey Epstein’s sex trafficking. Nobody should be protected from facing justice due to their wealth or status.’ While there is no evidence to link Andrew with Epstein’s crimes and he protests his innocence the constant drip of sordid details about his friend means he is unlikely to be ever seen grinning again from the Buckingham Palace balcony.
LORD (Charles) Moore of Etchingham claims that a group of international photo agencies created Kate’s photoshop embarrassment out of resentment. ‘I hope it is not unduly cynical to point out that these agencies hate the fact that HRH distributes her own pictures (without charge),’ says his lordship. ‘Her homemade pics take the bread out of the agencies’ mouths. Suppose other world figures get the DIY habit – what will become of the professionals then? Are the agencies trying to teach the princess a lesson?’
HAVING fat shamed Keir Starmer, Peter Mandelson reveals he has a personal trainer, another Keir – the son of Leftie Scottish lawyer Helena Kennedy. ‘He is a food puritan and makes me give an honest(ish) account of my intake in the form of a daily food diary.’ Mandy tells The Spectator confessing he was spotted sneaking into a Marylebone Lane restaurant to buy a doughnut, adding: ‘Needless to say [my trainer] takes an extremely negative view of doughnuts and almost everything else that is fun to eat.’
FATHER TED’S Mrs Doyle, alias Pauline McLynn, pictured, was attacked by a fox near Belgrade filming the 2020 series of the BBC’s Pilgrimage. Fellow pilgrim
Adrian Chiles, recalling the incident at the launch of a new series of the religious show, said the footage was never shown by the BBC. ‘I remember Pauline having a fight with a rabid fox, which bit her,’ he reveals. If the fox was rabid wouldn’t Pauline be swivel-eyed and foaming at the mouth? As that’s her normal appearance on Father Ted the jury will retire to consider its verdict of guilty.
CHELTENHAM punter Rich Ricci fell foul of bookmaker Coral’s affordability rules when he telephoned from the racecourse to place a £500 wager. He was asked for proof that he had the funds. Ricci, owner of winner Lossiemouth, pocketed £44 million when he left Barclays in 2013 and won £400,000 in one day after three of his horses won at Cheltenham. He took his bet elsewhere.
ASKED about his ‘goals’ when he turns 80 next year, frisky rocker and father-of-eight Sir Rod Stewart vows: ‘No more babies. The banana’s back in the fruit box.’