ARE YOU BREAKING THE LAW ON HOLIDAY WITHOUT REALISING?

Lee Kuan Yew, the former prime minister of Singapore always complained that when he did interviews, reporters only wanted to ask him about one thing: Statute Chapter 57 — a ban on chewing gum.

The law came into effect in 1992. Singapore’s shiny new Mass Rapid Transit railway kept getting gummed up by people parking their masticated wrigley’s where they shouldn’t.

To this day, you can only bring in a small amount of gum for personal use. You can chew it, discreetly, but not spit it out.

‘There are many things in Germany that you must not do that are quite easy to do.’ That’s a quote from english writer Jerome K. Jerome, author of Three Men In a Boat. He was writing about Germany’s love of order and regulations.

You couldn’t hang a bed out of a window, he discovered, wear fancy dress in the street or feed someone else’s horse.

Well, that was written in 1900. Surely things have changed? not necessarily. If you go to Germany and decide to tune your piano after midnight, you could be in big trouble.

But let’s not demonise the order-loving Germans. Research shows laid-back aussies, freedom-loving americans and expressive Italians are just as guilty of framing silly laws — which everyone ignores.

PLEASE BE QUIET

NOISE of any kind brings out the busybody y in officials globally. In Melbourne, australia, a, it is against the law w to vacuum between n 10pm and 7am m on weekdays. In n Indiana, it is an n offence to sing a Bob Dylan song in a public c place at any time.

It’s an urban myth that you can’t flush the loo oo after 10pm in Switzerland. d But Swiss apartment block owners may and do have rules about night-time noise.

CRIMES AGAINST FASHION

THIS is where the Italians are most sensitive. In Lerici, you can’t wear your swimming togs anywhere other than on the beach.

Barcelona has a similar restriction. You may in Florida, as long as you do not attempt to sing while whi wearing trunks tru or a bikini.

Back B in Italy, if you yo are a man, don’t dare wear a skirt in the street. or — here’s freedomloving a Florida again — strapless evening eveni dress. ‘This law is generally not applied,’ says The Law Place, a Florida firm. That’s good.

The authorities in charge of the Italian Cinque Terre coastline have outlawed noisy footwear. The flip-flop community may be outraged, but that’s the law.

And in Carmel — the sunny Californian town where Clint eastwood was once mayor — no high heels please without a permit.

Oh, and don’t wear camouflage gear in Barbados.

HAVE SOME DECENCY

HAVE you heard that the French banned kissing? on railway platforms at least. The law came into effect in 1910. ‘while the law remains in place,’ says the Connexion newspaper, ‘no formal penalty exists.’

You can have as much sex as you like in estonia, but not — and this is important — while playing chess. as for other bodily functions, do not go to the loo in the sea in Portugal. I am not sure who will be checking, but then the same goes for a lot of these rules.

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU EAT

IT’S illegal to give a whole boiled egg to a child in France or be caught in possession of 50kg of potatoes in western australia.

And don’t ever eat on public transport in the united arab emirates. (or in the street in Japan, but that’s more to avoid making the fastidious locals queasy). alcohol, as you’d expect, keeps the manufacturers of red tape busy. an 1872 Licensing act bans drunk people from riding a cow in Scotland. If you are a married woman and visiting La Paz, Bolivia, it is illegal to have more than one glass of wine at dinner.

However, if you are hit by a Brussels sprout thrown by a local in, well, Brussels, do not report it. Throwing the vegetable at tourists is permitted in Belgium.

‘IT WAS JUST A BIT OF FUN’

MAYBE you’ll be safe on the beach. But building sandcastles is illegal in eraclea, near venice, and Levante beach in Benidorm.

In Italy’s Marche region, you cannot save a space at the beach using your towel. Perhaps this is a way to keep the peace between British and German visitors.

You may be an unmarried woman who wants to do a parachute jump in Florida. You can’t — not on Sundays, anyway.

Skiing is OK in Switzerland but not if you recite poetry at the same time. Don’t have a pillow fight in Germany or try to catch a fish with your bare hands in Indiana. It’s against the law to be annoying on Palawan island in the Philippines. That may be why you see so few Instagram influencers there.

THE SERIOUS SIDE

GAVIN LAPIDUS, a director at holiday firm eShores, which has done a survey of silly laws, says: ‘while some of the stranger laws around the world may seem odd to us, it’s crucial to check each destination before travelling.

‘Places often have restrictions on what medicine can be taken into the country, unique driving laws, different guidelines about gender and sexuality, as well as myriad other local rules. The two most important things are to do your research in advance and to respect local laws and customs.’

Respect, we can do. But understand some of these wackier rules? That’s like trying to catch a fish with your bare hands.