Brooklyn’s ‘anniversary love letter’ that’s sweet as a donut

Hear ye, hear ye. The People’s Poet Laureate, Master Brooklyn Beckham, first issue of and sired by Lord Goldenballs and Lady de Posh, has written a love letter to his wife Nicola Peltz Beckham on the occasion of their second wedding anniversary . . . Deer Nikla

Happy anivarsy wifey. you are my bestest friend, my angel delight and I cannot wait to have babys wiv you. I just don’t know how. Do you get them from Gucci or Sesame Street or sumfink? I asked my mum and she said ask your dad and he said the storks used to bring them now it’s an amazon drone so that’s cool. They delivaaaaa!

Anyway chugar pie I feel like I have known you 4 EVA — and that is not just cuz you are boring and only want to talk about handbags and stuff. I couldn’t of wished for a bettr billionaire dotter to spend my life with.

That’s why I am naming my new gourmy delickasy after you its called the Rich Scrambled Donut, hope ya like it. Two big jammy yolks baked in layers of dough, that’s us aright. I’m serving it alongside my own invention where you take a slice of bread and — this is where the magic happens babes — apply heat to both sides. I’m calling it Brooklyn’s Toast, you’re welcome.

Shout out to you, shout out to my Nanny Peggyoty Mobcap who invented the bacon butty back in ol Blighty. Crispy, streaky and smoked back — yeah her hair was a mess but so what she knew how to parboil bacon to make the classic all day breakfast pasta bake sandwich. She was the real dealio, just like you.

Nikla, never forget you are the bubble to my squeak, the rough puff to my pastry I love you, my heart is fool, please everyone respek our privacy at this difficult time and just a minute while I post this on Instagram.

XXOOXXO