We can guess who plenty of Labour MPs would cheer in an Israel-Iran penalty shoot-out
SIR Keir Starmer did his ‘I’m a moderate’ act but the benches behind him wriggled and itched and surged and grumbled. Support Israel? You could forget about that.
Little uttered in the Commons will have influenced the Israeli government. Benjamin Netanyahu won’t give a stuff what the Hon Member for Scratchford North thinks.
But Tehran, Moscow and Beijing will draw satisfaction that so many parliamentarians in a Nato country would not support the side their own armed forces are defending.
Western forces, including the RAF, had just shot down hundreds of Iranian drones and missiles that could have killed thousands of Israelis.
The Commons heard a Rishi Sunak update and was so full that Lee Anderson (Reform, Ashfield) had to sit next to Jeremy Corbyn ( Ind, Islington North). Even Angela Rayner turned up. The celebrated property speculator chatted amicably to Sir Keir. Lucy Powell, on Ms Rayner’s other side, was eavesdropping like mad.
Iran had ‘ once again shown its colours’ in ‘ sowing chaos’, said Mr Sunak. Although he said ‘Israel has our full support’, the PM wanted ‘ calmer heads to prevail’ following the Iranians’ attempted Blitz. Mr Sunak was so much more pro-Israel than Lord Cameron that one wondered if he had cleared this statement with his lordship.
The Foreign Secretary may have to summon young Sunak for an interview without coffee. Who does he think runs our foreign policy?
Stephen Farry (Alliance, North Down) put Mr Netanyahu on the same level as Vladimir Putin. Mohammad Yasin (Lab, Bedford) spoke of ‘genocide’ in Gaza and wanted us to stop exporting weapons to Israel.
Claudia Webbe, sent to Westminster by the same parliamentary Labour Party that gave us Keith Vaz, demanded the RAF shoot down Israeli missiles aimed at Hamas. Kim Johnson (Lab, Liverpool Riverside) curled her lip about the democratically elected Israeli government. Beth Winter (Lab, Cynon Valley) moaned that Israel was ‘driving regional instability’.
Matt Western (Lab, Warwick & Leamington) asked if Mr Netanyahu had written a letter of apology for killing three British aid workers. I think we can guess who these MPs would cheer in any Israel-Iran penalty shoot-out.
Several Labour MPs, possibly told not to embarrass Sir Keir, opted for the displacement therapy of demanding that we resume payments to a UN relief agency whose staff allegedly helped Hamas to attack Israel.
Jeepers, if this mob really do win our next election, they’ll be hauling down the Ukraine flag from Whitehall and hoisting the Pan-Iranian tricolour.
Mr Sunak kept calm during this barrage. The sniffiest he became was after an anti-Israel question from John McDonnell (Lab, Hayes & Harlington) when Rishi sarcastically feared he must have missed the moment when Mr McDonnell condemned Hamas or Iran for their violence.
GEORGE Galloway (Workers Party, Rochdale) began a philippic against the London government but rather ran out of runway. He never actually asked a question. That allowed Mr Sunak to make light of the moment and Mr Galloway soon left the chamber.
Israel had many more friends on the Conservative benches. Suella Braverman (Fareham) was one of several to demand proscription of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps.
Mrs Braverman was heckled loudly by Labour MPs for suggesting this, even though it was something Sir Keir apparently favoured. David Jones (Con, Clwyd West) reported that officials from that Iranian corps ‘ can be seen dining at restaurants in west London’. You book a romantic table for two in Chiswick and turn up to find a couple of mullahs at the adjacent table. Then they order the bombe dessert. Time to do a runner, Marjorie.
Sir Liam Fox (Con, Somerset North) wondered why Iran’s airline was still using Heathrow and Iranian bankers were still in the City. Mr Sunak gave a ‘watch this space’ reply, sort of.
In hair news, Stella Creasy (Lab, Walthamstow) has gone peach and Afzal Khan (Lab, Gorton), eek, has turned a peculiar purple. If he doesn’t check the dosage on his henna shampoo he’ll go the full Janet Fookes.