Did Larkin get in a lather about the washing-up?
TEST YOUR LETTERS KNOWLEDGE, PART 2
Alan Bates, the campaigner and former sub-postmaster, has called the Post Office an ‘atrocious organisation’ that is ‘beyond saving’.
At the same time, the founder of the Handwritten letter appreciation Society, Dinah Johnson, fears the Royal Mail’s proposal to reduce second-class post to two or three days a week may spell the end of letter-writing.
So with the postal service under fire from all directions, how well do you know your letters?
1. What does a first-class stamp for a standard letter cost?
a) 35p b) 75p c) 85p d) £1.35
2. In a letter to Jimmy Savile on his 80th birthday, who wrote: ‘Nobody will ever know what you have done for this country Jimmy’?
a) Margaret Thatcher b) Tony Blair c) Jeffrey archer d) King Charles III
3. After seeing her nephew on TV, who wrote: ‘When he came home, I said, “John, what’s all this about, what’s happened to your voice?” . . . He didn’t really talk like that. I brought him up properly, not to talk like a ruffian.’
a) Johnny Rotten’s aunt nelly b) John lennon’s aunt Mimi c) John Osborne’s auntie Greta d) John Major’s auntie Jem
4. Noel Coward could be waspish in his letters. Pair his description with its target.
a) ‘a conceited slut’ b) ‘lacking humour to an alarming degree’ c) ‘Silly b***h’ d) ‘a silly, conceited, inadequate creature’ i) Arthur Miller ii) Tallulah Bankhead iii) Oscar Wilde iv) Marilyn Monroe
5. The poet Philip Larkin once wrote to his girlfriend Monica Jones, saying he got ‘great satisfaction’ from one particular activity. What was it?
a) Doing crossword puzzles b) Watching Top Of The Pops c) Doing the washing-up d) Wind-surfing
6. In a letter to a friend, which writer described Winston Churchill as ‘one of the few really unpleasant personalities I’ve come across’.
a) P.G. Wodehouse b) Evelyn Waugh c) Graham Greene d) Doris lessing
7. In 1964, Cecil Beaton received a letter complaining that modern novels were ‘so loathsome & perfectly horrible that I felt quite sick with distaste. I think that we must be living through a moment of bad taste in many forms of art, & I hope that the English will revolt soon.’ Who was this nauseous correspondent?
a) Barbara Cartland b) Mary Whitehouse c) The Queen Mother d) Vera lynn
8. In 1967, which rock star wrote to her parents telling them that Paul McCartney had just attended one of her concerts, adding: ‘SIGH Honest to God!...Isn’t that exciting!!! Gawd, I was so thrilled — I still am! Imagine — Paul!!!’?
a) Dusty Springfield b) Janis Joplin c) Kate Bush d) amy Winehouse
9. ‘I am very lonely for you, & longing to be with you again, darling.’ Which politician wrote this — and to whom?
a) Donald Trump to Stormy Daniels b) Harold Wilson to Janet Hewlett-Davies c) Roy Jenkins to Tony Crosland d) Edwina Currie to John Major
10. In a letter, which poet described the Conservative Cabinet minister John Selwyn Gummer as looking ‘somehow like a paper clip’?
a) Ted Hughes b) John Betjeman c) Roger McGough d) Wendy Cope