Chipolatas at the ready, it’s barbecue time
AS SUMMER beckons, our award-winning chef sue Flay offers her top tips for the summer barbecue.
1. If you have mislaid your thermometer, place your hand just above the grill rack. After five seconds, if your palm starts to smoke, then now’s the time to start cooking.
2. Get your fire going early, so it will have spluttered out by the time your guests arrive. It’s a great conversation piece, with everyone sharing their helpful tips for getting it going again.
3. Firelighters lend meat that unbeatable aroma of petrol.
4. To keep meat from sticking to the bars of your barbecue, first cook it in your oven. Give it that special barbecue flavour by sprinkling it with little bits of charcoal, twig and soil.
5. You can never have too much assistance for your barbecue. middle-aged men love to share a lifetime’s experiencei off grilling.illi I always recommend five or six middle-aged men per chicken wing. encourage fruitful debate by supplying each man with six cans of beer.
6. For a quick and easy way to add that ‘special touch of the east’ to your chicken leg, construct miniature fezes from cardboard and tape them to each chicken.
7. Keen to avoid food poisoning by under- cooking and crosscontamination? Invite an elderly neighbour to nibble each item before serving.
8. To test if your charcoal is hot enough, ask your husband to poke it with his thumb or forefinger. If he screams, you’re ready to grill. If he only winces or makes a face then give it a few more minutes.
9. Fresh out of mayonnaise? Try suncream; no one ever spots the difference.
10. Presentation is half the battle won. my motto is Keep It simple. For a barbecue, I hire simple oak dining tables, light them with classic five-arm candelabras, using simple hand-made beeswax candles sourced from family-run bee-hives in morocco, Provence, and, if all else fails, the Iberian peninsula.
Likewise, all my table cloths are made of simple hand-crafted linen, dyed with colours sourced from the Pityachi tribe of southern Indonesia then hand-washed by a family in the Pyrenees.
11. Casual seating is all-important at a barbecue. I favour hand-carved benches from Peru, with simple swan’s down cushions made by a wonderful little man in the Dolomites. The feedback from guests is touching. ‘I don’t know how you manage to keep entertaining so simple!’ a dear friend remarked last summer, ‘Could you let me have the name of your ice-sculptor?’
12. For a refreshing change, plump for the cheaper, lesserknown cuts of meat. For this summer’s barbecuing, I have already put in orders for chicken ankle, pork elbow, lobe of veal, wrist of beef,, and, for the mmore delicate eaters, lamb eyelash.
13. For an aauthentic bbarbecue experience, invite neighbours around when it’s raining,n and serve yyour meat two hours late,a black on tthe outside anda red or purple on the inside. Provide plastic knives for cutting those tougher cuts of meat.
14. Keep things simple. All you need is a long-handled fork, basting brush, tongs, two fire extinguishers, chopping board, a work surface, grilling baskets in various sizes, extra- long matches, family first-aid kit with extra blister plasters, paraffin, charcoal, assorted fruitwood chips, trained nurse, selection of skewers ( large, medium, small), metal plates, fire-resistant gloves, visor, garlic press, lemon press, choice of six sauces, fire- resistant apron, metal thermometer, mixing bowl, small bowl, large bowl, replacement large bowl for when the other one breaks, meatpounder, gas cylinder, selection of oils, peppers, spices, herbs, choice of marinade, marinading vessel, sea salt (preferably handfarmed from the Adriatic), shallow dish, food processor, mincer, air-fryer, seven cooking forks, and protective helmet.
15. Achieve the perfect charred, ashy flavour by nudging skinny chipolatas through the gaps in the grill. Allow five minutes to retrieve each one from the flames. some find it helps to scream abuse while doing so. Happy barbecuing!