I FORGOT ABOUT 30TH BIRTHDAY

Dear Coleen

My girlfriend, who I’ve been seeing for four years, turned 30 recently, but on the day of her birthday I totally forgot until lunchtime, when I called her at work to apologise. I realise there’s no excuse, but work has been very difficult lately – I’ve been working all hours to get everything done and there have been redundancies, so morale is low and I’m very stressed. With all this going on I just wasn’t thinking straight. When I got home that night I had flowers and a card with a voucher inside, but she just dumped it on the sofa and went out with her friends. She’s still giving me the silent treatment. How can I fix it?

Coleen says

Oops! This is a tricky one to get yourself out of – it wasn’t any old birthday either! Look, I’m sure she’ll calm down and forgive you once she stops to think about how much stress you’ve been under. However, it wouldn’t hurt to do something to make it up to her. How about throwing her a party and roping in her mates to help you plan it or organise a weekend away for just the two of you? I’m sure something like that will take the sting out of it. And you’ll enjoy it, too – it’ll help you combat some of that work stress. If work is affecting your relationships and personal wellbeing, then look at positive ways to deal with that, whether it’s exercise or tackling your boss about how to spread the workload more evenly. And, um, make a note in your phone on next year’s calendar to remind yourself when your girlfriend’s birthday is. Or it may be two strikes and you’re out.