AT WITS’ END THAT PARTNER IS CHEATING

Dear Coleen

About nine years ago, my partner’s parents came over to our house looking for him, as his brother had found a pair of jeans belonging to my partner in his girlfriend’s washing machine. His brother claimed they’d been having sex behind our backs and threatened to kill my boyfriend, who denied everything. He went into hiding, but why if it wasn’t true? I’d had my own doubts about the pair of them and he admitted kissing a girl on a night out, so we split up for a while. However, because we have two daughters I took him back and now I’m worrying that he’s cheating again after discovering he has a secret Facebook account and email address. I was also in hospital recently and they discovered I had the HPV virus and another sexually transmitted infection, yet my partner still denies cheating. My brother also told me that my boyfriend asked his fiancée for oral sex just after I had my son. I’m at my wits’ end!

Coleen says

If you’re asking me if you should stay with this man, then the answer is no, I don’t think you should. How much more proof do you need that he’s a serial cheater and liar? You and your kids deserve better. He doesn’t even seem that bothered about getting found out, as his ‘secrets’ don’t stay that way for very long. Now you’ve got STIS and you know you haven’t been sleeping around, so there’s only one explanation and it’s that he’s been cheating. The evidence is all there. I understand it’s harder to leave when kids are involved, but none of you will ever have a happy, settled life with a man like this. Lean on your friends and family for support – they’ll be queuing up to help you. Look, you’ve given it a good go but nine years down the line he’s still lying to you. Enough is enough.