BOYFRIEND’S DEATH HAS HIT ME HARD

Dear Coleen

My fiancé died two months ago at home, and he was only 27. I was told I wasn’t welcome at his funeral and his family has cut me off completely. We were together for 15 months and I miss him so much. Now I hate going home to an empty house and cry all the time. I also suffer from anxiety and feel so lonely as I don’t have many friends. Although my family do their best to make me feel better, it’s not helping. l loved him so much and now I feel that anyone who I love is going to leave me. Please help.

Coleen says

How very sad and I’m sorry for your loss. You haven’t said how he died or why you think his family has cut you off. However, what I do know is that your grief is not going to disappear in two months – your emotions are still very raw and you have to expect healing to take time. If I were you, I’d seek bereavement counselling – speak to your GP about a referral and you can also contact the bereavement charity Cruse (cruse.org.uk). It sounds as if your family are doing what they can, but sometimes it takes more than that. Counselling really helped my sister Linda after her husband died. It’ll take the edge off that feeling of loneliness and also help you to see things more logically. It’s not logical to think every person who loves you will leave you. Your boyfriend didn’t leave you – he died. But I think you would benefit from professional support to give you coping strategies. As for your boyfriend’s family, they’re grieving too and people often act strangely when grief is involved. Focus on yourself and accept all the help you can.