I’M SLEEPING WITH HOUSEMATE

Dear Coleen

I have been with my boyfriend for four years but I feel like I no longer want to be with him. The reason is I’ve developed feelings for our housemate, who’s lived with us for the past nine months. I’ve been sleeping with this friend of ours for about two months, but he also has a girlfriend and, unfortunately, I don’t think he has any feelings for me, apart from sexual ones. I feel like I’m falling in love with this guy – we have amazing sex and I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s making me not want to sleep with my boyfriend and it’s putting a huge strain on our relationship. In an ideal world I would be with this friend, but I know that’s never going to happen. I also really want to tell him how I feel, but at the moment we just have regular sex and nothing else. What do I do?

Coleen says

You stop having sex with him and ask him to start looking for somewhere else to live. I also don’t think you should be with your boyfriend right now either – it seems the only reason

you’re staying with him is because you know this other guy isn’t interested in anything other than sex. It’s a terrible way to treat someone you’ve been in a relationship with for four years. I would also question whether you are falling in love with this housemate – you could be falling for the excitement of forbidden sex and caught up in the romance of it all. But, bluntly, this is a guy who feels OK about sleeping with his mate’s girlfriend while living under the same roof and he has a girlfriend, too. Do you want to commit to someone like that? I bet if you did confess your feelings for him, he’d move out. I feel sorry for your boyfriend and your housemate’s girlfriend, who have no idea this is going on. They surely deserve better.