Gossip is threatening to spoil our lavish big day

Dear Coleen

I can’t believe I’m writing to you – I’m happier than I’ve ever been as I’m marrying the most amazing woman in August. At the start of last year I had given up on love. I was 42, divorced and with a few failed relationships behind me. I’m a partner in a haulage business, and in February 2016, I took my sevenyear-old godson out for a trip in my lorry, which he loved, and he told all his school friends. Then I got a call from his dad (my best friend) to say the head teacher at his son’s school had asked if I’d go in and talk to his class about my job. When I met the head teacher, there was an instant spark between us and, to cut a long story short, we got engaged in June 2016 and life is amazingly good. However, my one worry is that I keep hearing that so-called friends are slagging us off behind our backs for the amount we’re spending on the wedding. It might look like we’ve spent a lot, but we both have good jobs and haven’t borrowed a penny for it. My fiancée is having a designer dress, but the designer is an old friend from uni, and although the DJ we’ve booked is quite well-known, I knew him when he was a security guard at a truck yard. We have spent a bit on the honeymoon (12-night Caribbean cruise, plus five days in New York), which is my treat as my fiancée’s last honeymoon was two nights camping in the rain. I can ignore the rumours, but my fiancée is sensitive – she had an eating disorder as a teenager and had a tough time in her previous marriage. She is so happy about our wedding and I don’t want anything to spoil it for her. I know these rumours have knocked her confidence. I’d be grateful for any advice.

Coleen says

What a lovely story. Look, this is all down to jealousy, pure and simple. Even I feel jealous – it’s so romantic and you both sound incredibly happy. Good for you. How you choose to spend your money is no one else’s business. Having been to many weddings over the years, I can tell you there’s always lots of gossip around them – the food’s rubbish or the photos went on too long – and it’s usually down to the greeneyed monster. I would just keep boosting your fiancée’s confidence by reassuring her that it’ll be a wonderful day and that she deserves it. And if these people who are gossiping are also accepting an invite, why not embarrass them by asking if they still intend to come because you’ve heard they’re not being supportive. The bottom line is, you don’t have to justify yourself. Believe me, if these mates had your dosh, they’d spend it too. You both deserve the day of your dreams.

So-called friends don’t like amount we’re spending