I’ll pay TV licence if Gers improve..

Excuses of viewers caught out revealed

PRINCE Harry’s girlfriend, a sick goldfish and Rangers FC are among the excuses people have come up with for not paying their TV licence.

Around 94% of homes across the UK have everything in order, but a small minority of people continue to offer flimsy excuses when caught. In Northern Ireland one Co Derry woman caught watching without a licence said: “It’s not a TV, it’s an LCD fire.” The TV licensing enquiry officer replied: “And it must have Bart Simpson-shaped flames.” Another man hid behind his favourite football team when he was caught. He told officers: “I’ll pay it next year when the Rangers are back in the Premier League, pal.” Other top excuses ranged from the fishy, “Sorry I can’t buy a licence because I’m giving CPR to my goldfish,” to the coy, “I am not paying for my licence now the BBC are showing porn. Gary Lineker in the nude on Match of the Day – disgusting”. Another said: “I only watch Premier league football, and as I am a Newcastle fan, I no longer need a TV licence.” Dozens of tenuous excuses were collected from across the UK. A new father from Warrington had more pressing concerns telling an enquiry officer: “I can’t stop and talk, my baby daughter has just exploded in her nappy.” TV Licensing spokeswoman for Northern Ireland Karen Grimason said: “We make every effort to find evaders and although excuses we hear can be ingenious, those we catch still need to buy a licence.”

Sorry I can’t buy one because I’m giving CPR to my goldfish HOMEOWNER QUIZZED BY LICENCE INSPECTORS