I ADORE HER BUT SHE’S BACKING OFF

Dear Coleen

I’m a lesbian and have been seeing a girl for the past five months, and it’s been amazing. I’ve completely fallen for her, but the problem is she doesn’t want a relationship and is scared of commitment. I have tried talking to her about it and go nowhere, and then out of the blue she told me there will come a point where we won’t be able to continue the relationship because we live too far apart from each other. I try to express how I feel about her, but I feel that she is gradually shutting me out. I’m starting to feel an awkwardness between us. What can I do?

Coleen says

I’m not sure there’s a lot you can do. She’s been honest with you and you either have to accept the relationship for what it is and enjoy it while it lasts or decide that it’s not right for you, let it go and find someone else who’s on the same wavelength. At least she’s not stringing you along, making you think she will make a serious commitment at some point. She’s telling you how it is. Yes, there’s always a chance that the longer you stay together and the more your relationship grows she’ll change her mind at some stage and want something more permanent. You can’t force her to think along the same lines as you, so all you can do is decide what you’re happy with and what you’re not. Just keep in mind that there are plenty of other girls out there who are looking for that kind of commitment within a relationship.