WIFE WANTS ME TO BE A WOMAN

Dear Coleen

I’m a 56-year-old married transvestite. My wife recently caught me dressing in her clothes and has told me that if I want to stay married to her there will have to be conditions. She’s insisting I retire and live as a female full time so I can be a housewife. She also wants to have sex with other men and no penetrative sex between us (although we can pleasure each other in other ways). She also expects me to move into the spare room, so she can have other men in our bed. My problem is, I love her so much and can’t bear the thought of losing her, so I feel I have no choice but to do as she wishes. I like the thought of being dressed as a woman and I’m OK with her having sex with other men, but I don’t want to live as a woman full time. What can I do?

Coleen says

I think she’s totally holding you to ransom and using what she’s discovered to get what she wants. I don’t think she understands it – she’s immediately assumed you want to be a woman full time and that your sexual preferences might have changed. Look, as much as you love her and are willing to do anything to keep her, what about you? You say you’re not bothered about her sleeping with other men, but I don’t think that’s true. She’s either exploiting the situation or she’s come up with this list of demands because she doesn’t want to get divorced and tell people why. She’s treating you like a dirty secret – don’t allow her to do this. I think you need to put your foot down when it comes to what you want. If you don’t want to give up your job, don’t do it. If you don’t want to live as a woman, don’t do that either. Explain to her why you like dressing up and when you like to do it and see if there are compromises you can each make to be happy. But don’t let her dictate how things are going to play out. Good luck.