MY WIFE IS SO ANGRY ALL THE TIME

Dear Coleen

I’ve been married for eight years and we’ve been together for 15 altogether. However, for the past three or so years my wife has been in “angry mode” on an almost daily basis. I’m not sure what happened or what changed to make her react like this. I have tried to have conversations about it on a couple of occasions, but she won’t talk to me. She just says she’s not angry and then gives me the silent treatment. But I know it’s not just me – all my friends have the same impression of her and the same goes for my parents. I’m actually getting to the point where I’m thinking of divorce. I can’t help thinking there’s something there that she’s not willing to share with me. Have you any advice?

Coleen says

I think you need to be a bit tougher and tell her you don’t want to be in a relationship like this, married to someone who is angry all the time. Suggest that if she can’t tell you how she feels face to face, then she can write it down in a letter and give it to you to read. If she still refuses to open up and engage in a sensible discussion, then you don’t have to head straight to the divorce courts, but you can suggest a trial separation. Maybe when you’re not around and she realises you’re serious, she will accept that she has to sort it out one way or another. Perhaps she’d benefit from anger management counselling, but first she has to accept she has a problem and seek help herself.