HE CHEATED ON ME WITH OUR SON’S EX

Dear Coleen

I’m a woman who was married for 34 years. When my son brought his very pretty girlfriend home to meet us, we brought her into our family. I made her feel like a daughter and welcomed her little girl, too. Eventually my son married her, but after 16 months they broke up. I knew my husband had a soft spot for our daughter-in-law. He started going out a lot, even though he was never interested in going out with me when we were together. I found it all very suspicious, so I hired a private detective and found that my husband and daughter in law had been seeing each other. He claimed they’d never slept together, but he was going out dressed for work and going straight to her house. I have lost my children over this because he claimed I was paranoid. Then I found out that he took another woman on holiday for two weeks and now he’s with someone else. He still lives in the house with me, but hopefully I’m nearly at the end of this horrible time. But can you tell me if there’s light at the end of this dark tunnel? It feels like a nightmare.

Coleen says:

It sounds like you’re in the process of separating in which case there is light at the end of the tunnel. And, after what you’ve been through, being on your own will be a relief. You’re nearly on the other side, so you just have to stay strong. Regarding your kids, perhaps they don’t want to believe their dad is capable of behaving like this, but it’s important they know the truth – they’re grown ups. Tell them what you found. If you can’t say it face to face, write to them and explain you’re not saying it to try to stop them loving their dad, but that you can’t lie about it and won’t be blamed for it. Hopefully, they’ll start to come round. Good luck.