FIVE YEAR OLD IS TOO GROWN UP

Dear Coleen

I have a five-year-old daughter who seems desperate to behave like an older girl. She wants to wear heels, tops that “show her belly”, nail polish and so on. I suppose it got worse when she started school last September. She also likes to watch vloggers on Youtube Kids, which I’ve put a stop to. I hate the fact she’s so aware of her appearance at such a young age. She started nursery when she was only six months old and I think that may also have had an impact on making her grow up too fast. One or two of her friends are just like her, but most aren’t. Can I undo the damage and how much should I let her get away with?

Coleen says

First of all, it’s pointless thinking about the past and what you could have done differently – you can’t undo that, but you can influence the present and future. I don’t think you can blame nursery – being there from an early age has probably given her a lot of confidence, as she’s had to mix with other children from a young age. Her desire to look older is probably more down to what she watches online, plus she’s probably been influenced by older children at school. I think at her age, anything is too much if you think it is. You’re in charge! If you let her make the rules at five, you’re going to be in a whole heap of trouble when she’s a teenager. Why not let her play dress up with high heels at home, but explain she’s too young to go out dressed like that? It’s a fun part of role-play – I think most of us used to walk around in our mum’s heels as kids. As for wearing clothes that are clearly too grown-up for her, just say no, like you’ve said no to Youtube. One of the lovely things about being a kid should be not having to worry about your appearance.