MY BOYFRIEND HAS ALWAYS BEEN A SECRET

Dear Coleen

My parents don’t know I have had a boyfriend for 11 months. He lives about an hour away, so it’s been easy to hide our relationship. However, the boyfriend thinks they do know, which is superawkward for me. I’m now worried that if he finds out they don’t know about us, he’ll dump me. I’m worried to tell them because I feel they won’t accept him because he’s not from around here and doesn’t attend the same school. I think they are starting to suspect I’m talking to a boy when I’m on my own in my room though, and are starting to question where I’m going when I’m seeing friends. I want to tell them because I want a proper relationship with this boy, and I want things to be out in the open, but I’m scared and embarrassed about it.

Coleen says

Lying to your parents is not the answer. And the more you lie, the more stressful it’ll be for you and the worse it’ll be when it comes out because they will find out at some point if you carry on. Why are you so afraid of speaking to them? I’m sure they’d rather know because, right now, they’re probably imagining a far worse scenario! If you feel embarrassed, then write them a letter and leave it for them when you go to school. They’ll have time to digest it and think about it, and then you can (hopefully) have a calm discussion about it. Why not invite him to come and meet your parents so they can see he’s a nice guy? Your parents will want what’s best for you and they’ll worry if they feel you’re hiding things.