I FEEL I’LL BE SINGLE FOR EVER

Dear Coleen

About a year and a half ago, I split up with the man I thought I was going to marry, which left me devastated. I pleaded and begged, but he wasn’t interested and blamed me for everything that led to our break-up, and then kicked me out. I feel humiliated that I lost everything and now I’m back home living with my mum. I’ve tried internet dating recently, but everyone either doesn’t turn up or doesn’t want to date me. I’m convinced I’ll be single for ever. Have you any words of wisdom?

Coleen says

You’ve had a horrible experience and it does take time to come back from something like that, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself. It’s good that you feel ready to get back out there, but there’s no doubt the dating pool can be a scary place to swim in if you’ve been out of it for a while and had your confidence knocked by a bad break-up. I felt very much the same when my first marriage ended, but I did meet someone else eventually and it was when I’d actually given up and decided to stop trying and just enjoy going out with my friends. If the dating site isn’t working, come off it and try different sites and apps. And try the old-fashioned thing of just going out with your mates and seeing who you bump into. It’s unlikely that the first guy you date will be the one you want to settle down with, but you can still have a good time. And the more dates you go on and the more sociable you are, the more confident you’ll become and your ex will fade into history. One day you’ll be glad you broke up, because he clearly wasn’t the man you thought he was.