I ALWAYS GO FOR THE OLDER MAN

Dear Coleen

Is it odd that I only want to date men who are about 30 years older than I am?

I’m a single woman of 24 and don’t know why I have this desire.

I have a loving family and had a stable, secure childhood, and most of my previous boyfriends have been good guys.

But I’ve always been interested in older men and I definitely want to marry someone of this age.

I was dating someone recently, but I dumped him because he cheated.

I want an older man who is faithful, but who has an outgoing personality. Why do I have this need? Do I have a problem?

Coleen says

I think it’s a problem if you’re assuming that all men 30 years older will be faithful – age has nothing to do with whether a person is likely to cheat or not.

It sounds to me as if you’re attracted to the idea of someone who’s stable and established, and who’s willing to look after you. I don’t think it’s a problem if you’re attracted to older men - I was always attracted to guys seven or eight years older than myself. However, you can’t go into it blindly assuming a guy of that age will never cheat on you and, in any relationship, you need to be able to look after yourself. Also, bear in mind that someone of that age who’s available will have baggage – he may have grown-up kids and even grandkids.

Are you up for that?