I FEAR BOYFRIEND MIGHT BE GAY

Dear Coleen

I’ve been thinking that my boyfriend might be gay. It’s really just a gut instinct and the feeling I get when we’re out together – I don’t have any actual evidence.

The thing is, when we hang out in a bar he keeps his distance from me, which is so unlike other boyfriends I’ve had.

He never touches me – we just sit and talk like friends.

We have known each other for five months now and he said he loves me and wants to marry me next year, but I don’t know.

What do you think?

Coleen says

I think if your gut instinct is telling you things aren’t right then you definitely shouldn’t marry him. Don’t commit to anything unless you’re sure he’s the one.

Of course that’s no guarantee that things won’t go wrong down the line, but you have to start out being sure.

If you’re having doubts about whether he’s gay or not and don’t like the way he treats you, then tell him that things aren’t working for you.

It’s only been five months and talk of marriage seems a tad rushed – what’s the hurry if you’re right for each other?

However, nothing you’ve said has made me think he’s gay.

He might be one of those men who finds public displays of affection hard – not everyone likes to be tactile and show emotion unless they’re in private. But if that’s just what he’s like and it’s something that really bothers you, then it’s probably not going to get better with time.

Maybe it’s something you could live with now, but years down the line it could become a real problem if you start resenting him for not making an effort or being romantic.