Daily Mirror (Northern Ireland)
The way we wed
says: “Any movement towards equality is good news.
“However, surnames come from fathers so it’s still patriarchal, so I wonder how much it really means.”
She jokes: “I’m not sure if there is an element of people thinking having a double-barrelled named sounds posher.”
NICE DAY FOR A WHITE WEDDING?
Only 37% of 18 to 34-year-olds opt for a big white wedding.
What seems to have become a priority are photographs and preparations for a the day, a reflection of how society is much more image-conscious because of social media.
Some 36% of young people cite hair and make-up as important, while just 6% of older couples did so. Barbara says: “Greater choice and variety in the way we get married can be a great thing in making people happy.”
MONOGAMY IS DEAD
Only a third of people in the UK believe monogamy is the secret to a long-lasting marriage. And Barbara pins the blame for the unusually low figure on men.
She says: “Men tend to be more comfortable with open relationships than women, because men compartmentalise more easily – work is work, family time is family time and sex is sex. Women tend to be more holistic.”
But she isn’t surprised that couples don’t rate sex at the top of the list for making marriages last. “When we have carried out surveys at Relate, sex is also not at the top. A lot of relationships are about companionship. Quite often you find with relationships that have lasted a long time, sex stops and neither party is too bothered about it. “When you are a great team the sex isn’t as important as when you were 20.”
NORTH-SOUTH LOVE DIVIDE
A huge 70% of us think laughing away your problems is essential to keeping a marriage ticking over.
Women value a shared a sense of humour slightly more than men do, at 77% versus 63%.
Londoners are less light-hearted than the Scots. Only 58% of couples in the capital think laughter will solve a problem, compared with 78% in Glasgow.
Barbara says humour is vital. “When you are down you want your partner to give you a cuddle and jokily tell you everything will be alright tomorrow.
“To be able to lighten the mood is a wonderful gift.”
IT’S IN HIS (OR HER) KISS
Physical contact, simply a kiss a day, helps ensure a long and happy marriage say 27% of people.
And if you want a kiss a day, Liverpool is the city to be, say 41% of people there. In Sheffield couples are the least likely to kiss and make up with only 17% enjoying such contact daily.
“Physical contact is the way lots of couples repair the bad times” says Barbara. “If you have an argument and make up it brings you closer. Without it, it can be hard to make your bond stronger.”
KIDS OPTIONAL
Having children has traditionally been seen as the cornerstone of a marriage – but now more prefer to relish each others’ company.
Just 18% say kids are a prerequisite for a long, happy relationship. The South East is least interested.