MY SISTER MISTREATS HER KIDS

Dear Coleen

I was aware that my sister – a mother of three at the age of

25 – was a bad parent. But now she lives with me, it’s inescapable. I feel uncomfortable in my own home because of the way she verbally and physically abuses her children, aged six and four, and how she neglects her infant.

I would never normally try to tell anyone how to bring up their kids, as I’m a single mum and I realise it’s very hard, but it’s having an impact on me and my daughter, and it’s our house.

I am going to confront her, but I would really appreciate your advice.

Coleen says

It’s all very well saying you can’t tell someone how to parent their children if it’s a question of disagreeing with them giving the kids sweets or letting them stay up late. But when it comes to abuse and neglect, then you have to step in.

You have to explain to your sister calmly what you see and ask her why she’s taking things out on the kids. Tell her you can’t allow it to go on in your home, not only because you’re worried about the welfare of her children, but because it’s affecting your daughter, too. She’s clearly not coping and needs support, so talk to her about what the options are.

You can request support from your local social services and you can also get in touch with the NSPCC (nspcc.org.uk) for advice.

You don’t say why she’s living with you, but I imagine it’s supposed to be a short-term arrangement, so you also need a plan for what happens next.