Daily Mirror (Northern Ireland)
WILL THEY TAKE MY BABY AWAY?
Dear Coleen
I’m 21 years old and currently pregnant with my second child. I’m in a new relationship and have a stable job. When I was 17, though, I got pregnant and had a little girl. The relationship I was in was toxic and resulted in my baby being taken off me, and it still hurts so much.
My daughter is now adopted and I want her to know that I love her so much, and didn’t want this to happen. I’m grieving for someone who is still alive and I don’t believe things should have escalated to the point where my baby was removed.
Now, I’m scared social services are going to take this baby too. I informed them of my second pregnancy and they want involvement.
How can I keep my cool?
Coleen says
Unless it was a closed adoption, there is usually a contact plan in place to enable a link between birth families and adopted children. This can be via letters or even face to face.
It’s worth asking social services about this. I would also suggest getting in touch with Family Lives, a support group for all types of families. The website has good information on adoption support that may be of use to you (familylives.org.uk. Helpline: 0808 800 2222).
As for your worries over your current pregnancy, social services would only remove a child if there’s very clear evidence they’re at risk of significant harm and there’s a court order in place, too.
Again, Family Lives has useful info and advice.
I understand your worries, but you seem to be in a far better place now. Rather than be defensive, show them your circumstances have changed and you’ve grown up and learnt from your mistakes.
Involve them in a helpful way and share your fears with them, too. Ultimately, they want to keep a child within their family.
Get a support network around by involving your relatives too.