FALLEN FOR A MARRIED MAN I WORK WITH

Dear Coleen

I am truly in love with a work colleague who is 12 years younger than I am. We spend time together, chatting and joking about lots of things.

Our moments together are always fun and full of laughter and he is always there for me at work.

We used to text often, but since his wife found out and objected to it, we text only about work issues.

I’ve tried my best to forget him, but I just can’t. If anything, my feelings towards him are stronger and firmer than ever.

What can I do to think of him more as a friend instead of a potential boyfriend?

Coleen says

I think you have to create some space between the two of you so you’re not in each other’s company so much. I appreciate that’s hard when you have to work together, but don’t see each other socially, don’t go for lunches or coffees, and only text when it’s necessary.

It’s about protecting your own heart because you know this relationship can’t go any further as he’s married.

It’s hard to stay close friends with someone when you want more than they are able to give. It would help you to focus on your life outside of work – developing your social life and seeing your friends.

It’ll be a good distraction, plus you might meet someone else special and this will all fade away very quickly.

But it’s hard to move on when you’re so focused on this relationship with a man who can never be more than a friend.