MY FRIEND IS SELF-HARMING

Dear Coleen

I’m only 13 and my best friend recently told me that she’s been self-harming. She showed me the cuts, which aren’t that big or deep, but I’m worried things could become worse.

She doesn’t go to the same school as I do, but I suspect she’s getting bullied. The reason she gave me for the self-harm was that she’d accidentally hurt another classmate and after getting blamed by others, she self-harmed to reduce the guilt.

She is a very special friend and I was thinking of telling someone about it, but I’m afraid I’ll lose her trust. Also, her family is currently having some financial issues.

What should I do?

Coleen says

What a great friend you are and I’m sure it’s why she chose to confide in you. And while I understand you don’t want to break her trust, you’re only 13 and this is too much to keep to yourself.

You need adults to take responsibility and I’d start by speaking to your own mum. Explain you want to help, but you don’t want to go behind her back.

Perhaps your mum can speak to your friend’s parents or even her school so they can support her – they might not need to bring you into it at all.

If they’re aware of it, they can keep a close eye on her and she might never have to know you were involved.

But, you know what, don’t worry if she does trace it back to you because she will realise at some point that you were just being a good friend and be grateful for it.

It’s not like you’re gossiping about it or putting it all over social media, you’re only breaking confidence to help her.