SHE’S A CHEAT BUT I LOVE HER

Dear Coleen

My girlfriend and I have been together for two years. I’m 32 and she is 30.

I love her with all my heart, but she’s cheated on me seven times with different guys.

I’m scared of losing her, but she’s destroying my confidence and making me feel I’m not good enough.

She says she loves me and that it’s “just sex” she wants.

The last time she cheated on me we were on a night out together when she disappeared, and was found by the security guy in a toilet cubicle with a man.

Do you think I should I dump her or stick it out?

Coleen says

Wow, I think she needs to acknowledge that she has a problem. Sex addiction is a real thing and if she can have sex in a toilet with a random person while she’s on a night out with you, then I’d say that is an addiction. And I think she has to own it if you have any hope of a future together.

However, if she insists there’s nothing wrong with her behaviour, then I think you’re absolutely wasting your time.

She won’t be the one to end things with you – why should she? She doesn’t believe for one minute you won’t forgive her another seven times.

Sometimes people have to lose something important to them to wake up. There are no consequences to your girlfriend’s actions at the moment.

If you’re not careful, you will lose all your confidence and she’ll make you mistrust every other girl you meet and that would be sad. This is her issue, not yours, and while you’re trying to be forgiving because you love her, sometimes you just have to save yourself.

Her behaviour has nothing to do with you as a person – she could be going out with anyone and still have sex with strangers in pub toilets.