WHY IS HIS EX ALWAYS AT FAMILY DOS?

Dear Coleen

My boyfriend’s ex is still close to his family, especially his two sisters.

She actually befriended me as well, which I finally accepted after about three years of being in a relationship with my partner.

We have a son together, but this ex-girlfriend still attends every family event, which I just think is odd. It’s really getting on my nerves as whenever she’s around she’s very demanding of attention from my partner and the rest of his family. Sometimes she’s the only outsider at important family get-togethers.

What do you think I should do and what do you think she’s up to?

Coleen says

Wow! And you’ve put up with this for three years – why? There’s no way this woman needs to be such a big part of your lives – it’s not as if they share a child together.

You can’t dictate who his family are friends with, but you can talk to your partner about what’s acceptable to you and what isn’t.

Stop being so nice about it. If you let it go, nothing will change.

He ought to speak to his family (who sound as if they have a sensitivity chip missing) and request that she doesn’t attend important family events.

And you need to put your foot down and say if his ex is there, you won’t be. That may sound petty but the drip-drip effect of her constant presence in your lives makes it hard for your relationship to flourish. Your partner needs to make a choice about what he’s least bothered about – offending his ex or driving you away.