I’M A SLAVE TO LAZY HUSBAND

Dear Coleen

My husband treats me like an assistant. He wants me to do everything for him – I’m a stay-athome wife and I clean, cook, make appointments for him and do his laundry. You name it! And he always makes me feel less of a person because I can’t find a job.

Added to this, he doesn’t ever pay any attention to me. He gets home every night after work and plays video games and we hardly have sex any more. If I mention it he gets mad.

I just feel like I’m the only one putting in all the effort and he’s taking advantage. Any tips?

Coleen says

love him and that’s why you’re desperate to find a solution.

It’s clear that his attitude is battering your self-esteem and the longer you stay in this situation, the harder it’s going to be to take a stand, leave him or find a job because you’ll have no confidence whatsoever.

I think you need to start with yourself – finding things outside of the house to stimulate you and bring you into contact with other people and opportunities.

Join social clubs or try some voluntary work. Even if you’re not getting paid, it’s all experience, it may lead to a paid role, it’ll boost your confidence and help your social life.

And see how your partner reacts to you being more independent. It sounds to me as if he’s quite happy keeping you where he wants you. So do it.

And you’re with him because? I can’t find anything in your letter that even hints at any good qualities. You don’t even say you