I WANT MORE THAN JUST CASUAL SEX

Dear Coleen

I’m a woman in my late 20s and I’ve been hooking up with a lovely guy for a few months now.

We have a pretty relaxed relationship – we’ve never called it friends with benefits or anything like that, but that’s pretty much what it is. It’s pretty relaxed and fun.

We meet up at least once a week and sometimes go out, but sex is always on the agenda.

But now I want him to see me as more than someone he hooks up with, as I’m starting to fall for him.

However, it seems a bit awkward to bring this up now when we’ve never given our relationship a label.

Have you any advice on how I should approach it?

Coleen says

I agree – you have to bring it up, but you can keep it casual by just asking him, “Where do you see us going with this? Are you happy how things are at the moment and is this all you want?”

Hopefully, he’ll be honest with you and you’ll know where you stand. If he panics and looks like he’s about to grab his coat and run a mile, then at least you can make a decision about whether you’re either happy to carry on as you are or move on to find a more fulfilling relationship.

Of course he might be thinking the same thing as you and want to move the relationship up a gear, but doesn’t know how to approach it either. Maybe he’s worried that you want to keep it casual and he’s afraid of rejection.